What’s next – official Yahoo! sponsored Farmville cheats?

Bahhh!

According to the authoritative urban dictionary, “you can use it if there is an awkward silence.”

Bahhh! That’s what happened at Yahoo!s Bucharest Hack Party. Even perky prostitutes couldn’t get the party started. No one can prove anything, mind you – this was a cash transaction.

But if the party ended with a Bahhh! in the old city of the defunct little Paris aka Bucharest, what’s worse is that the culmination of the circle jerk was literally, a bahhh- as in the sound a sheep makes.

Beyond being morbidly GaGa over Facebook, Yahoo’s sub-genius crowd paid unhealthy homage to Zynga’s flagship Facebook game, Farmville, with a scaled-down, robotic simulation of a farm where the number of marching sheep reflect the number of your friends.

Get it? People. Sheep. Sheeple. Wiii… (pronounce it: weeeeee)

This is what Wikipedia has to say about sheeple:

Sheeple (a portmanteau of “sheep” and “people”) is a term of disparagement, in which people are likened to sheep.

The term is often used to denote persons who voluntarily acquiesce to a perceived authority figure’s suggestion without critical analysis or sufficient research to understand the ramifications of that decision. By doing so, Sheeple undermine their own individuality and may willingly give up their rights.

What’s next – Yahoo! sponsored Farmville cheats?

Get Lady GaGa’s unicorn to turn a trick for a treat?

Kill spam in Yahoo! mail for 100 Facebook credits?

Will Sean the sheep replace the squeaky rubber duckie? Enquiring minds want to know NOW!

One imaginary Romanian artist noted that Yahoo! needed a hell of a lot of red rubber boots to make things interesting. Or did he say, HEY Raymie, spice it up? Free drinks add confusion to the whole sticky, sordid affair.

bahhh?! [whispered with surprise and horror]

Florida, as the Twitterati know, just passed a law (SB344) that prohibits that kind of spice…

Coldplay, Lost
………………………………………………..

………………………………………………..

Nonetheless, Yahoo! might just be “waiting for the shine to wear off” as Chris Martin sings it in the Coldplay song, Lost.

Oh- I want to share with you an embodied, breathing metaphor for how lost Yahoo! is! This is surreal. Bear with me here. Yahoo! is as lost as that 40 something Yahoo! allusion to that 70s show (bald and a pony tail) that just couldn’t get any satisfaction/action tonight. Better luck next time, dude!

Note: I feel your pain, bro. It’s just not fair to not be hooking up in Europe’s capitol of sexual tourism!

Like what happened to the Roman empire after Genghis Khan had raped its women and drank its wine. Some of the generals have put on slinky dresses and size 12 stiletto heels. Others are smoking their brains out to the THC beats machine. But that’s ok just as long as they don’t inhale. Right?

Nevermind the former low-cost labor force in India that hacked Yahoo’s ad play and shorted Yahoo! tens to hundreds of millions in lost ad revenue last December. Lay offs have consequences – don’t you know?!

Power to the people! [Yes, I can hear John Lennon singing it – in my head right now.]

But Yahoo! is in bigger trouble when Yahoo!’s best are dreaming of Facebook games and how to pull the wool over those awkward miner-helmets donned by the armies of the sheeple (err, sheep).

It’s time to bring the @fakecarolbartz (aka Shaan Siddiqui) on board at Yahoo!’s c-suite. She/he seems to be the only one true believer in Yahoo! Emotify co-founder Siddiqui may be the only one out there with enough reckless devotion and vision to turn things around and get Yahoo! back on track.

Otherwise, it’s going to be Sodom and Gomorrah all over again. Maybe, for all of us. The four horsemen are riding – their nightmares are thundering across Farmville’s English Countryside – upon hooves that break concrete better than jackhammers. Can you hear those fearsome riders coming?

It sounds like a bahhh… but this bahhh ends with wah-hah-ha!

Let’s just say it together: “#Apocalypseville” – in the prophetic word of @unmarketing (aka Scott Stratten).

But no matter how great the trouble and need may be, no matter how long the dark night may stretch… we mere mortals can summon the forces of truth, justice and the American way. We can unleash a world of we a la @DrJackKing. We can make this a better world for you and me.

Because Leadership is Love.

Unleasing <sic> a world of me is easier than Lady Macbeth (or Carol Bartz) summoning evil spirits, unsexing operations, etcetera (Act 1, Scene V, 45).

Just put on the BATDANCE, Carol. And bust open a can of Batman…

Prince, Batdance
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Stan Faryna
15 May 2011
Bucharest, Romania

If you’d like to connect with me, follow @Faryna and tweet me up on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/faryna

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About Stan Faryna

Mr. Faryna is the founder and co-founder of several technology, design and communication companies in the United States and Europe including Faryna & Associates, Inc., Halo Interactive, and others.

Stan Faryna served as a Global Voices author and translator. Global Voices is a non-profit global citizens’ media project founded at Harvard Law School’s Berkman Center for Internet and Society, a research think-tank focused on the Internet’s impact on society.

His political, scholarly, social and technical opinions have appeared in The Chicago DefenderJurnalul NationalThe Washington TimesSagarSaptamana FinanciaraSocial Justice Review, and other publications.

Mr. Faryna also served as editor-in-chief of Black and Right (Praeger Press, 1996), a landmark collection of socio-political essays by important American thinkers including U.S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.

Copyright

Copyright 1996 to 2012 by Stan Faryna.

Here’s my fair use policy for my content: If you want to share my content with your own audience, you may quote a brief excerpt, if and only if, you provide proper attribution (Source: The unofficial blog of Stan Faryna) with a direct link to the source. Generally speaking, as long as you are not acting as an agent or on behalf of a corporation or institution, I am not interested in any payment for the quotation or use of a complete article. Nevertheless, you may not republish or translate the entire article without my written permission. Send your request for permission via Facebook. Or tweet me up me on Twitter.

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4 Responses to What’s next – official Yahoo! sponsored Farmville cheats?

  1. adrianklein says:

    “Batdance” that sure helps, lol!
    It’s not hard to decide, probably more “Kill spam in Yahoo! mail for 100 Facebook credits?” my email box scream! No! is in horrible pain from all the spam I get.

    It’s like whenever you add a message to spam folder it’s going to your favorites. Yes I have an idea. Change the “Spam Folder” to “Fav Folder” I can see it: “Yahoo! Retro Email. If you have a wonderful day, don’t worry, we can fix it!”

    Well done Stan, great article dude.

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Thanks for stopping by. Rockstars are always welcome…

      I see the Yahoo email spam problem like this: They’d rather make a G today than a 100 Billion Dollar valuation tomorrow.

  2. highballsport says:

    Yahoo it’s a mystery to me…

    From what I see they’re doing a lot of work for their revenue – publishing all that content just to monetize it through ads.

    My Yahoo Messenger is bombarded with ads. :-) I don’t mind – I know they have to make money but I never click one…

    There was this article by Paul Graham (Y Combinator) about Yahoo vs Google. And he said Yahoo people were “suit” people going to Madison Avenue to sell ads while Google people were “shirt and jeans” people coding, trying to solve a problem (and one only – search that is). Google had a “start up” mode a few years after they launched and that kept their focus on the product and NOT on the money (unlike Yahoo folks).

    Yahoo’s search within email sucks big time… They redesigned the web mail application – looks sleek now but each email opens in a new tab (necessary…?) and if you open too many you get a message saying you have to close few if you wanna open more – I never had this problem in Gmail.

    The way Gmail threads the conversations (back and forth emails) is much better than having each email as a standalone piece of information.

    If they cannot innovate enough, I’d advise them to copy Google – may this way Google will innovate even more. :-)

  3. Stan Faryna says:

    Constantin: So are you or are you not for Yahoo! sponsored Farmville cheats?

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