Do you love strongly? And Other Social Media DOHs.
by Stan Faryna
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Are you getting all the love you want? Are you connecting with people? Deeply? Often?
Am I? Am I getting all the love I want? Am I connecting with the people that lift me up?
Science says that those who believe they are worthy of love and connection, enjoy more love and connection in their lives. That’s what Brenay Brown says in her TED talk.
She studies human connection – our ability to empathize, belong, and love.
Those that live fully are those who have love and who connect with others. Brown calls them, the whole-hearted.
I want to be whole-hearted.
Am I whole-hearted?
According to Brown, the whole-hearted live with courage, compassion, integrity, justice, and vulnerability. That sure is a long list… of big words.
What is courage?
Courage is about doing the right thing- especially when fear, force, or challenge strongly recommend against you doing the right thing.
When was the last time I did the right thing at a cost?
What is compassion?
Compassion is about honoring the presence, dignity, hopes, aspirations, fears, defeats, and suffering of others.
The last time I saw an elderly or disabled person, I don’t think that I looked to see if I could make the moment easier for them? I went about my business without a second thought.
What is integrity?
Integrity is about honoring you and the you that you see in the other. It’s about upholding your dignity as a human person and rising yet higher. It’s about uplifting others and not pulling them down.
Do I have integrity? Do people come to me for advice on difficult questions– and do they follow my advice?
What is justice?
Justice is about giving what is due. The free market, in fact, is not a fair and just arbiter of value – it is merely a convenience. Likewise, human laws are often more convenient than they are true. Remember that. A good sense of justice requires prudent judgment, good conscience, and certain disinterest in the outcome.
Do I settle for convenient solutions? Do people come to me, first, to solve a conflict?
What is vulnerability?
Vulnerability is about being open to authentic relationship. Brown describes it as allowing others to see you more deeply.
Am I the first to say, I love you? I miss you? Do I ask for forgiveness?
I want to be the one to say things from my heart. I don’t want to wait for the right moment. I don’t want to wait until you speak from your heart. Because maybe you are waiting for me to speak from my heart.
Do you have strong feelings for others?
The whole-hearted live with strong feeling. They allow themselves to feel strongly about themselves, others, and things. They love with their whole hearts. They give. They share themselves; and, again, they allow themselves to be seen deeply.
Strong feelings can be uncomfortable, I know. They can be scary. Strong feelings embrace risk and promise as two sides of the same coin.
Strong feelings demand spontaneous expression and responsibility… as much as they demand sustained attention and ownership in the heart.
Strong feelings ask much of us. Almost as much as they give to us.
On the other hand, the consequence of living with muted feeling is living with a muted heart, muted joy, muted love, muted connection, and a muted life.
Am I living with the mute on?
Nothing sucks more than living on mute. Is that how I am living life? On Mute?
If your answer is yes, then now you know. Now you know why it sucked to be you.
But Aaron Biebert challenges us to consider the possibilities of living whole-heartedly in his blog post, Say The Words That Choke You Up.
Actually, there’s several bloggers out there exploring what it means to live more fully. To feel better. To enjoy more.
Lori Gosselin’s blog post, What’s Your Ikigai?
Janet Callaway’s blog post, The Hidden Benefit of Blogging
Marcus Baker’s Do You Know What Oprah Knows?
What do I really want? What do you really want?
Do you want to be a social media success? A blogger with a million fans? A somebody?
Or do you just want to live more fully? Do you want to feel love more strongly in your life?
The answer is the same. The bottom line is that we all want to be happy. And others will listen to you – if you can truly help them to be happy and to live whole-heartedly. But you can’t help them- if you don’t allow yourself to live bravely and whole-heartedly.
How will you live bravely and whole-heartedly?
How will I?
Honor your inspirations! Be true. Give without expectation for any return. Share deeply of yourself – more often and regardless of your fears and shame.
Feel strongly and follow the whispers of your conscience, your heart, and your greatest hopes.
15 August 2011
Faryna Podcasts recently produced by Adrian Klein:
1. Why do I blog: Faryna Podcast EP1
4. The First Duty of Love is to Listen: Faryna Podcast EP4
5. Are You Ready for Love? Faryna Podcast EP5
6. Reading The Desiderata. Faryna Podcast EP6
7. What is Love? Faryna Podcast EP7
8. Confessions of a Freak-Geek-Misfit. Faryna Podcast EP8
Faryna Podcast EP9 Information
Do You Love Strongly? by Stan Faryna. ©2011 Some Rights Reserved.
Produced by Adrian Klein. http://www.adrianklein.co.uk
Music by Adrian Klein. All Rights Reserved by Stan Faryna