by Stan Faryna
Blog Soup 2011.11.21 Dreams of Days After Turkey and Leftovers
Scary stuff is days-after turkey and the leftovers. Some have likened me to Homer Simpson and his big sandwich.
Must eat the leftovers!
Will the stuffing, mashed potatoes, and green bean casserole hold out until the Turkey is finished? That’s ever the big question in my mind when I go to the fridge after the big day.
About Blog Soup
I read a lot of blogs. Maybe, too many. I comment on a lot of blog posts. Maybe, too many. If you are a Triberrati, you do too.
A Triberrati is a blogger that stands out in the Triberr community. Triberr is a web app that connects bloggers and helps them to curate each other on Twitter. You can learn all about Triberr by reading any of the following posts about it.
I intend to write pithy, poignant comments that may help you truly rediscover yourself through the blog posts of friends and strangers. In terms of your journey of self discovery, the destinations are not as important as is your own personal negotiation of the questions, answers, and confusions which you may discover by following a link, reading a blog post, poring over comments, and making a comment. On the other hand, this is our community and, yes, community is all about our commitment to the community, conversations, consensus, disagreement, participation, and, yes, to each other.
I will fail often in this endeavor, but I can, as Booker T. Washington said, keep on keeping on. Will you humor me?
Gary Portnoy, Where everybody knows your name (Cheers theme song)
George Winston, Thanksgiving Music
The blog posts that I commented on in this blog soup:
2. How to think creatively by Tony Schwartz
My unabashed comments:
Daniel’s 5 Keys to better online debate:
1. Be Selective in your disagreements
2. Understand the context; get clarification
3. Don’t waste time bickering back and forth
4. Don’t count on closure or a clean win
5. Empathize as much as you can
Daniel writes how he often disagrees with the things he reads on Twitter, Facebook, or blogs. Worse, he suggests, is the overwhelming number of indiscriminate agreements, compliments, and praise for stupidity, false insight, and lies.
As if those agreements, compliments, and praise do not reflect the stunning lack of intelligence of the commenters?!
Of course, they do! As John Garrett might add, there’s no better way to spot a stupid clown than in the comments.
Myself, I would like to see more honesty in the comments I’m reading across blog posts. Because there is a yawning lack of honesty going on. Or stupid clowning. Honesty, however, does not have to strikingly unkind, vicious, and disruptive – especially in the blog comments.
Myself, I do want to be encouraging, but I want to encourage others in good things, true things, and beautiful things. But I don’t always get the balance right when I contradict their suppositions. I know that and it concerns me considerably.
In the comments, Janet Callaway refers to Marcus Baker’s blog post, Would You Rather Be Right Or Happy?
Choose whether you would rather be “right” than happy. Choose whether you would be “right” than continue a relationship.
Is it that black and white, Janet?
I don’t know about that.
The one thing I’m sure about is that a relationship based on a dishonest kindness or indiscriminate encouragement is no relationship. Offline when a friend tells me bullshit, I may smile but I still call it bullshit.
Bruce Sallan writes:
Disagreement- when done with respect – usually creates the best dialogue and engagement.
And I have enjoyed disagreeing with Bruce about Occupy Wall Street. I understand, after all, that he has to tow the line that his listeners expect of him. And not just tow it but defend it to the teeth. But I know that he knows, I’m right. [grin]
Please don’t just agree to disagree and have nothing to say!
2. How to think creatively by Tony Schwartz
Ultimately, the highest creativity depends on making frequent waves — learning to engage the whole brain by moving flexibly and intentionally between the right and left hemisphere, activity and rest, effort and letting go. That’s also a pretty good prescription for how to live.
In the comments, Tony adds:
… intentionally cultivating more intuitive, metaphorical, big picture thinking will strengthen the capacity for creativity immeasurably.
To have the capacity to move flexibly and intentionally between different modes of prehension would be a coup to count. I am not convinced, however, that it’s only about the brain. Furthermore, Schwartz fails to define the role of emotions and conscience in creativity. But as profoundly disappointing as the latter failure, I enjoyed Schwartz’s sally.
Tony Schwartz rushes, jumps, and leaps upon the challenge to describe creativity in a manner typical of a journalist. [big grin]
How many dragons have you tried to slay, today? Me? None, today. So Schwartz should get his Foursquare badge. Or something.
As Mark Foster observes in his comment, a better title for the blog post might be in order. I propose the following: Baby Steps to Doing Performance Art that Mimics an Understanding of Creativity.
Slightly unrelated to Tony’s focus, but more interesting to me is a comment by David:
The truth is that creativity makes almost everything better, more human and more meaningful… and more sensible…
Great societies are measured by their creative and cultural accomplishments. The rest, though empirical and pragmatic, is what we settle for in a so-called non-creative world… muscle-bound and hamstrung by these misunderstandings of what might have been.
Writes Jon Gordon:
To build a winning a team and a successful organization you must create a culture of greatness.
What I didn’t write:
The reasons for the decline of the Roman Empire are many and much debated. However, Rome’s fall to the Visigoths and Vandals is a lesson about greatness as a cultural force – a lesson for which few can stomach. Babylon’s fall teaches the same. And no one truly knows the wonder and awe of Babylon’s hanging gardens. The lesson is that greatness is not invincible; neither is it forever nor sure-footed upon troubled times. And, yes, Superman bows and crumbles before kryptonite.
Greatness may be spoken gently today in the hallowed halls of Apple, but I also remember Tom Peters, the guru’s guru of business consultants, remembering how he cringed at meetings where Steve Jobs roared like a lion – Job’s mouth dripping, foaming, and spewing insults and contempt for his people.
My chief concern, however, is not that greatness is unworthy of our hunger, ambition, and aspiration. For I am tempted by it, myself.
Greatness, triumphant greatness, is not a leisurely sport. It is the fighting and the kind of fighting that wins both the battles and the war. Greatness is neither in a four hour work week nor a forty hour work week, but many who have tasted even but a drop of glory will swear by the eighty four hour work week.
Writes the historian Edward Gibbon:
The decline of Rome was the natural and inevitable effect of immoderate greatness.
Greatness, to be poignant, is 300 Spartans (and others) standing against hundreds of thousands of Persians, beset by all sides, and their families soon and inevitably to be raped and gutted – soon after they fall. They delay that horror to befall their loved ones by a day or two – if and only if they fight harder than anyone has ever fought before or after.
And they did.
The photo shows a little girl cradling her baby brother in the classroom. The photo, Little brother wants to sleep ((弟弟要睡了), generated much online discussion in China last month as it reflects the long-standing social problem of children left behind in rural villages by their parents, the inhumanity of a culture dominated by authoritarian capitalism, and other things.
The Chinese government has attempted to block searches for the image to discourage further conversation and debate.
While the rise of the Chinese Economy is of some abstract concern to the West, the West truly does not understand that the Chinese will to dominate global markets is driven by demons meaner and tougher than any fire we got in our belly. They may overcome us – sooner than later. This seems as inevitable (if divine intervention is withheld) as it would be forlorn.
In it’s decline, the Roman Empire did not produce many goods for export, they could not capitalize upon invention and innovation because there was no manner to protect intellectual properties, politics was owned by corruption, government was bankrupt, and the people – poor, proud, uninspired, and, arguably, unwilling to adapt to the challenges of the diminishing glory of Rome.
The much quoted philosopher and poet George Santayana had suggested that those who do not read history are doomed to repeat it. Apparently, the same fate ambushes those who have read and comprehended history but not by their hearts.
Hang in there. It can take time to see results.
Mattias brings up a good point about how it can take 6 months from the hiring of a sales rep to seeing them sell. He doesn’t mention that a brick and mortar business likely has visibility, already knows who it is selling to, how to sell what it sells.
If you are new to blogging, six months isn’t realistic. Because no one knows who you are (online), you may not know anything about your online market (customers), and you may not know how to sell whatever you are selling, online.
Unless you have money or budget to advance your project ($12,000 or much more/year depending on your ambitions, problem solving skills, and, hopefully, a few super powers), think three years. Three years?
Three years, that’s what I’m saying. Of course, you could get lucky. But if you feel that lucky, go buy a lottery ticket.
In the meantime, consider Aaron Biebert’s encouraging shout out:
The future you fight for is forward.
You are genuinely kind when your uppermost priority is to support the highest good of everyone.
The unpayable debt that I owe him was sheer encouragement.
It has been said that true kindness is a fruit of the spiritual life. Without a doubt, the lack of spiritual life often reveals itself through a poverty of kindness. How then shall we be kind when we are unable to receive kindness into our spirit?
Kindness is not based on matters of fact, duty, instinct, or eros (attraction). It cannot be exchanged, traded for another thing, or purchased. And if you agree, when do you last remember visiting kindness upon another. In other words, when did you give without expectation of any return AND for the sake of the other’s highest good?
It can be easily said that the Creator is kind. The generosity of creation is indisputable. But you? Me?
Without the spiritual resources to supply us with true kindness, we have only our natural inclinations and devices to exercise something like kindness. In other words, courtesy.
Courtesy is not a bad thing, however. In fact, as much as we want for kindness, I would argue that we want even more for courtesy.
Courtesy, therefore, I suggest, is what we need to apply diligently in our relationships. Because courtesy does not demand of us the things that kindness requires. Namely, spiritual gifts which most of us are deeply lacking of. Myself included, of course.
The Sanskrit word, daksinya, describes a kindness and consideration that is expressed in a sophisticated and elegant manner. This sense of kindness, however, does not address one’s highest good. It merely addresses one’s immediate need, comfort, or convenience in the sense of a thoughtful hospitality or charming behavior.
In this light, Harleena provides me with excellent check list of courtesies to work on.
Jens is guest posting at Bill Dorman’s place.
Saying sorry and being kind will get you word of mouth recommendations. That’s what Jen is saying.
What I didn’t say:
Jen tells about two different pizza places. One screwed up his family’s pizza and went the extra mile to make up for their error. The other place didn’t do much to improve an unfortunate mishap of Jen’s daughter spilling her Fanta.
When I first came to Romania, I used to flip out over the bad service – especially if I was paying top dollar for the service. And they didn’t care.
In restaurants, I’ve had waiters bring cold food, forget to bring food that was ordered, and bring me the wrong food. And if I didn’t like it, I could pay and leave. If I didn’t pay, the police or their friends would be called to teach me better manners.
That’s not the worst of it, I have had waiters not return with the change, managers not believe that I had payed the bill, and, yes, I have even exchanged blows with restaurant security guards.
To be honest, the gorillas wanted to use fists, but I decisively and violently used a chair to even the odds and subdue them.
Things are a little better since Romania joined the European Union. But Jens might still hate it here in Bucharest – especially if he went off the beaten path.
My insight has also grown. I no longer complain about bad service. If I try a new restaurant, the burden of discovery is mine.
I understand that there is no culture of customer loyalty here. It’s not like back in the Washington, DC area where I am recognized and warmly greeted by restaurant owners even if they haven’t seen me for three years. They know that when I am in town and available to dine at their place, I’ll visit them at least once per week. Because I’m loyal like that.
But I also have to mention that my favorite restaurant in Washington, D.C. closed after some 50 years of excellence. And I miss my Cote de Boef. Contrary to marketing speak, customer loyalty does not function in every circumstance – apparently not on a bump or downturn. Ah- the misuse of euphemism!
So even if I show loyalty to a restaurant in Bucharest, I’m the exception and that isn’t meaningful enough to change how they do things. Exceptions are not rules – that’s why they are called exceptions.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to go out of your way to win word of mouth recommendations. But like most business owners do, be discriminating in choosing to whom you apply your courtesies. No business can afford to be so liberal in their generosity and courtesy that they can make every customer experience an exceptional experience.
In my opinion, a pizza place making the best pizza they can make at the lowest possible price they can sell it… is what the bottom line of the pizza business is about. And, yeah, most pizza places don’t even get that right.
If you think that this blog post sucks, let me know in your comment and don’t forget to include a link to YOUR favorite blog post.
If you think this blog post rocks, tell me why it rocks in the comment. “Awesome,””Great post,” etc. works for me. Don’t forget to include a link to YOUR most recent blog post.
21 November 2011