I never meant to do you wrong. #sorry

I can get so caught up in my dreams, inspirations, and the work. Even in destiny. I can get so caught up in that sticky spider web of my aspirations and intentions – so caught up that I lose sight of my nearest duty.

What do I mean by the nearest duty? My friend Thomas Waterhouse of Simple Encouragement describes a nearest duty as a smile or a touch. Or it could also be the act of simply being available to you by listening to you with my full attention.

Coldplay, Trouble

My nearest duty – it could be any act of reaching out that speaks simply from my heart. Again, as Thomas explains, a nearest duty is something that says, “You’re not alone, I love you, I care.” And, more importantly, “How can I help you?”

Or “I’m sorry”.

In my heart, I am so sorry that I’ve let you down. I never meant to do you wrong.

Like Elton John sings, sorry seems to be the hardest word.

I know that I don’t say sorry often enough. And yet I have also said sorry so often that it now, perhaps, falls on deaf ears and a closing (or closed) heart.

I wish it didn’t happen like this. And yet for all my good intentions, I have harmed you. Even when I never meant to do you harm.

I think of all the stupid things I’ve said. All of the excuses that I’ve made. All the times that I was a million miles away from you. In the same room. And, sometimes, sitting beside you.

I think of all the stupid things I’ve done. I also think of all the little things I didn’t do for you. It’s a sad, sad situation. It’s a whole lot of trouble.

I need a million more second chances to fix this. It’s a whole lot of trouble, I know. But I hope you’ll give them to me. Not because I’m giving them to you. I hope you’ll give them to me because you really do love me – despite me.

Will you forgive me, again and again?

Stan Faryna
14 July 2011
Bucharest, Romania

4 Responses to I never meant to do you wrong. #sorry

  1. This spoke my heart and and mind..make me ache for times gone by. Breath in the future, breath out the past~Fink. I feel the pain, your pain, the pain of the one who got it wrong one to many times to be forgiven. This was touching

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Stacey, I make lots of mistakes. Hopefully, I’m making less of the same ones. The intention is there. And my heart is willing. And yet, I still may need someone to apply a 2×4 every now and then.

  2. Stan, I think “Sorry” might be the hardest word to use in the English language. It’s either overused or underused.

    Great post!

    If you have time, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the words “I was wrong.” http://bit.ly/f4KyQW

  3. Stan Faryna says:

    Thanks for sharing the love, Aaron.

    I’m headed over to your link just as soon as I finish up on the next podcast.

Speak from your heart!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: