Are You Ready for Love? And Other Social Media DOHs. Faryna Podcast EP5. #nicheamnesty

Are You Ready for Love? And Other Social Media DOHs (aka Stan Faryna feat Moby)
by Stan Faryna

Play the soundcloud player to hear the podcast. Or download it here. The podcast sounds awesome with earphones or played on hi-fi speakers. Try it and tell me what you think.

Mobile users: you should be able to hear the podcast here.

This blog post was inspired by @makeness, @mylifestylemax, @janetcallaway, @drjackking, and a few other people that don’t do Twitter.

I’m letting them go. Things. All the things that don’t make me happy. Right now.

See them fly away.

I was on Danny Brown’s blog when I noticed a comment by Illana Burk (aka @makeness on Twitter). I liked Illan’s comment. So I headed over to her blog, Makeness, and I happened to read her blog post titled, Are you afraid of your readers?

Illana makes some nice points. For example, selling is a skill.

I agree.

Illana suggests that the big problem with unsuccessful bloggers is they don’t sell. Because selling seems wrong. Because they don’t have a strategy. Or, maybe, because they don’t have something to sell.

I left a comment. And that comment became a self-revelation. For me. Maybe, for you too.

I didn’t want to contradict you. I’m sorry Illana – if that’s how my comment came across. Forgive me.

In my comment to Illana’s post, I found myself expressing something that was coming to the surface. Welling up from my heart. Even deeper. My soul. Maybe, even deeper than that.

I wrote in my comment that I’m beyond the buying and selling. I’m into giving it away.

Because the life I have isn’t what I’d seen. The sky’s not blue and the fields, not green.

My friend, Jack King of the Northfork Center for Servant Leadership, describes the problematic of buying and selling within the context of leadership.

We need to see leadership beyond buying and selling. The buyer is the follower who follows such and such for this or that reason – often the wrong reasons. The seller is the leader who pretends they have a compelling vision that will bring you happiness, success, wealth, change, etc.

It is the serving nature of leadership for which we all yearn.  Why?  Because it gives.  It follows and leads.  And it makes no promise other than to expect nothing in return.

Myself, I never tried to monetize my blog. Because that wouldn’t have been sharing.

Any advertising you see on my blog is courtesy of the WordPress corporation. And they deserve whatever they get. Because WordPress provides me with a free platform to give it.

But just because I didn’t monetize my blog, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have jumped at an opportunity to do so for big bucks. But making the comment that I’ve made on Illana’s blog, I feel it necessary to unhitch even any unconscious ambitions I had for my blog. About ever making any kind of money with my blog.

I’m letting them go. Right now.

See them fly away.

And, maybe, I need to take it a step further. Maybe, I need to give away my things. The things I love. Because I don’t really love things. Things don’t have a heart. Or soul.

And, most importantly, they don’t love us back. They can’t. They’re just things.

So now we are beyond the maybe. But, honestly, I’m not sure how to do it.

I can take pictures. You’ll have to pay for packing and shipping. And you’ll have to figure out the shipping from my place to yours. Some things can’t leave Romania “easily” because they may be considered cultural treasures. But if you’re serious, we could figure things out.

The hardest part will be deciding who gets what. For example, if 1000 people want a Poltrona Frau Hydra armchair designed by Luca Scacchetti (it retails for about $5000), how will I decide who should get it? Obviously, you shouldn’t ask for it if you can’t afford packing and shipping.

Share your thoughts with me. How should I structure the giveaway so that people have an equal and fair chance to be touched by the fleeting enthusiasm of unexpected windfall? Perhaps, be touched in deeper ways. To be connected. To celebrate the world. And others.

To be changed. To change, together. And, together, to change the world for the better.

Help me figure this out. Help me to be true and forever. Help me to be happy. To be free.

P.S. Thank you, Moby. Thank you for personally giving us permission to use your song in this blog post.

I’m letting go of things. And I’m afraid.

I’m letting go of things. Because I’m ready to love.

Stan Faryna
25 July 2011
Bucharest, Romania

Faryna Podcasts recently produced by Adrian Klein:

1. Why do I blog: Faryna Podcast EP1

2. If Tomorrow Was Your Last Day: Faryna Podcast EP2

3. Money Can’t Buy Happiness: Faryna Podcast EP3

4. The First Duty of Love is to Listen: Faryna Podcast EP4

Note: If you want to make a podcast out of your blog post, get in touch with Adrian Klein on Twitter or Facebook.

Faryna Podcast EP5 Information
Are You Ready for Love? And Other Social Media DOHs by Stan Faryna. ©2011 Some Rights Reserved.
Produced by Adrian Klein.
Music: Moby. Wait For Me. All Rights Reserved by Moby.

43 Responses to Are You Ready for Love? And Other Social Media DOHs. Faryna Podcast EP5. #nicheamnesty

  1. My jaw is quite literally on the floor…I ..err…don’t even know what to say. I don’t want anything….though sweet goodness that chair is beautiful. Seriously Stan…In my spirit… in a really deep place..I’m feeling something is changing for you…in fact …its’ plainly obvious that their is a seismic shift going on in your life. God is so immensely and abundantly good…I know that the quicker your giving it away…the quicker it will be coming in. (not that this is your intention)

    Mal 3:10 (KJV) Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse,
    that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith,
    saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven,
    and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to
    receive it. not begin..or end with the church..they start with your heart and an open hand.xx

    • Stan Faryna says:

      The courage to love comes easy when I have friends and inspiration like you, Stacey. Thank you, Stacey. Thank you.

      You write: “ not begin..or end with the church..they start with your heart and an open hand.”

      I agree with all my heart.

      Thank you to all of you who have encouraged me. I only wish I could give back that encouragement a million fold.

  2. Betsy Cross says:

    Hey Stan,
    I believe there are people all around you who’d not only love your stuff but are your neighbors because they “need” as well.. No need to look further than next door. ( Unless you live in a forest where the stuff would just get ruined if you left it on the curb!) I love the practice of some American Indians who, if they find out you like something they own, give it to you. The friend / love connection is all serendipity to them.
    Got me thinking and feeling grateful this morning. Thanks!

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Yes, there are few better examples of serendipity than friends.

      Thank you for your encouragement, Betsy.

  3. […] Are You Ready for Love? And Other Social Media DOHs. by Stan Faryna […]

  4. luminita says:

    You are amazing!

  5. Wow Stan, I’m lost for words. I agree with Stacey, I wouldn’t want anything either. I’m not about things either, it’s not who we really are. They are nice to have but if you believe in your heart to give them all away I also believe you’ll know what’s the right thing to do when that time does come. Just follow your heart, you are doing a fabulous job of that now.


  6. Christian Hollingsworth says:

    How do we stay free? Ask each morning what we might do to help another during the course of that day.

    You’re doing wonderful things Stan, and the winds of change are blowing hard in your direction. Excited to hear more.

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Thank you, Christian. I appreciate you.

      I agree, we must be useful to others. Not manipulated. Not used. But useful. And often.

  7. irmaLAdouce says:

    Thanks for the offer, but I can’t afford having a 5000$ chair. I’d wonder though how you would define love without using a Bible quote, nor a biblical idea, that is…

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Irma, God bless you!

      Luke 9:3

      And He said to them, “Take nothing for your journey, neither a staff, nor a bag, nor bread, nor money; and do not even have two tunics apiece.”

  8. Stan Faryna says:

    I may have failed to be clear in the help I’m asking for. I’d really like ideas and suggestions for the rules of the give-away. Or maybe what I’m asking is just too weird. Think so?

    Also. I know some people may already be disappointed because they imagine that everything is big. Like the arm chair. Some things are smaller. I have a modest collection of interesting folk pottery, for example. The pottery should ship easily. Somethings could also be as small as a jeweled writing pen from Cartier.

  9. adrianklein says:

    I hope that everyone could feel and know what I feel and know about you at least one percent as I do.

    You are such a beautiful person, friend, mentor… There is so much good in you. When I was thirsty, you gave me something to drink. When I was hungry, you fed me. You cooked for me with your hands! When I was a stranger, you gave me a shoulder to rest my head on and big open arms when I wanted more of your love and friendship.

    When I was in trouble, you rushed to me. You stood against my enemies as if they were your enemies. You made my troubles, your troubles. My enemies trembled in fear and recanted. When I dreamed, you made them to begin to happen. Just enough so that I could feel they were possible. You opened locked doors for me. In heaven and on earth. You opened my eyes.

    If it didn’t happen to me, I probably wouldn’t believe it. I wouldn’t believe that there are angels walking among us.

    Is it weird? Yes it is. Should it be weird that there should be forces that are gentle, kind, good, faithful, and like you? No, it shouldn’t.

    I love you dude! I really do. I’m going to buy you a Ferrari one day! I’m going to help you make your dreams come true.

    • Stan Faryna says:

      I remember many years ago when you came into my office and you were determined that you would fail to convince me that you needed a mixing board, microphone, etc. That afternoon, we went out and got you everything you wanted. You were so high on joy and your smile was so big. That was worth every penny.

  10. Wow. Just wow.

    What a generous spirit you are. I don’t monetize my blog either, yet. Some people think I should be as for now, I am receiving great satisfaction from helping people which is a wonderful reward.

    But I’m not giving away a lot of my stuff. That’s amazing. I agree with Betsy, you should give it to those who need it. I have been to Romania and know there are many people in your country who need help. Charity begins at home so why not give your things to those who can’t afford packing and shipping?

    I feel so fortunate to have met you, Stan. I read Bonnie’s post first so knew I was headed somewhere special.

    BTW, I loved how you presented the podcast. The music was captivating.

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Carolyn, Adrian Klein is the mastermind for putting sounds, music, and voice together. It’s always good to have a few rockstars as friends. He’ll be thrilled to know that you liked the production.

      For the record, I’m not against giving things to people in Romania (expats or native Romanians). But the rules of the giveaway will apply to them too.

      Obviously, I’m not going to give things away to the unworthy. So there we have a first rule. You must not be unworthy of love in the present moment. You must not be known to be doing harm to others. Or exploiting others for ambition or profit. The second rule of the give-away: you must have at least three friends that go to bat for you. Because faithful friends are a signal that you have loved, shared, and celebrated others.

      Thanks for helping me figure this out, Carolyn. I appreciate you. Thank you for your encouragement.

    • Stan Faryna says:

      I just wanted to add that I have nothing against people monetizing their blogs. I would like to see more people make a living as bloggers. I would like to see people like @TheJackB, @mylifestylemax, and @Paul_Wolfe making a million dollars a year.

  11. @irma. I’m no longer a practicing Christian, although I know God to be real without a shadow of a single doubt. To remove God from the equation when defining love is difficult “for me”. But I’ll try. ” Give it all you got, leave it all on the table, show your weakness and your strength, have forgiveness and an open heart and willingness to be both wrong and sometimes right. Smile, be grateful, give more than you take..look for ways to be of service”..I could go on an on..I love the topic of love, lol What do you think love means? With or without God in the equation?.xx

  12. irmaLAdouce says:

    Give it all you got = generosity,
    leave it all on the table, show your weakness and your strength = authenticity
    have forgiveness and an open heart = empathy
    willingness to be both wrong and sometimes right = flexibility
    Smile, be grateful = grace
    give more than you take = common sense
    look for ways to be of service = helpfulness

    All of these are classic virtues.

    I’m bothered when a word hull is tossed around in a grand way, and nobody can define what we’re talking about.

    Love is being true to oneself and connecting to others that don’t compromise you in that quest.

  13. irmaLAdouce says:

    @stan It takes a certain mindset to be rich. Live with the fruit of your labours and gifts. Shoulder your responsibility. Stay away from sudden conversions. Changes are always wrought from within. If you are meant to give something away, the opportunity will magically arise, not be engineered.

    • Stan Faryna says:


      Your fierce passion, intelligence, and self-command shine bright through your words and counsel. You’ve thrown your heart across the intertubes and reached out to me, a stranger. I appreciate you, irma. It’s grace that has brought you here – or serendipity – if you prefer that word better. I’m thankful that you’ve come such a long way to touch my heart and my life.

      I embrace love and responsibility as one and the same thing. At least, I’d like to think so. But if you see my error and it stands out so clear to you, I warmly welcome you (or anyone) to point it out to me. My email is stan dot faryna at gmail dot com. I only have to be right 93.7 percent of the time. [laughing] In other words, I admit some margin for error and, hopefully, correction, forgiveness, and repentance.

      I appreciate your definition of love. I don’t think it’s very different from my own. I write and say it (a week or so ago) here,

      “Happiness, it turns out, is being truly what one is. And happiness is also in knowing that a thing is truly what it is. And here is love. Love wants us to be always true. True to ourselves. And, yes, love wants us to find, know, and sustain what is true in the world. And love wants what we love… to be true forever.”

      Have I tossed “love” around in a grand and reckless manner?

      Forgive me – if I offended love. Perhaps, I am ignorant. It is possible. For I know that I’m not a genius. Nor exceptionally bright. I have an average intelligence to be sure. As much as I wished it were otherwise. But like you, I am passionate. I yearn for a great love. I yearn to be true. I yearn to do amazing things. I yearn to be helpful. And I yearn to perform great service.

      And as you wrote a month or so ago, it may also be so:

      “Victory will be less husky, defeat less debilitating.”

  14. Bill Dorman says:

    Stan the man; now that we are buds, give me your stuff and I will get some of it out (whatever I don’t want). And I really think that Porsche would be loving me a lot…………….just sayin’……….

    I really love the podcast and creativity; I probably would never come up with something like that.

    My whole shtick is networking; I’m not looking to monetize my blog. My blog and involvement provided the opportunity to meet others and allows them to meet me. If it leads to a business relationship down the road then that is just icing on the cake.

    I don’t want for much which keeps me grounded. Like you, I derive much more satisfaction in helping others. If I had something you needed much more than I, then yes, I would probably just give it to you.

    Thanks for sharing this, and sorry for the delay in coming by your house; I enjoyed the visit though.

    I hope you have a great day.

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Bill, buddy, there’s six more months of payments on the Porsche. Until then, the Porsche “bank” still owns it for all practical purposes. So we’ll have to wait and see. [laughing] The upside is that the Porsche only has about 10k miles on it. But maintenance costs on a 3+ year old Porsche is a beast. You could buy a new Honda accord every year with that same money. So anyone who keeps a 5+ year old Porsche in excellent running condition is doing well. It’s like wearing a Rolex Yachtmaster. It’s an unspoken sign of success and accomplishment.

      Of course, there’s my passion for how a Porsche drives. But as a friend noted this last weekend, I do amazing things in a Dacia Logan. I took turns and zig zags at speeds that Audi drivers dared not try. In a car with 75 hp. Not to mention – everything else about the Dacia is as exciting and limiting as a lawn mower. My GF did not share my friend’s enthusiasm – she slapped me in the back of the head at every corner. Sometimes, before the corner. In anticipation for what I was about to do. [laughing] I like to drift.

      Bill, I’ve said it more than a few times, you bring a humility and common sense to the internet that I much admire. Humility and common sense is in demise. The base is eroding. It will be men like you who will hold the line – when the time comes to hold the line.

      Relationships are everything. You’re more clever than the average bear. Business – buying and selling – happens when there’s a relationship. The quality of the relationships determine the sustainability of the enterprise. I wish you would share more of your common sense with people who got it all backwards. Because they’re doing themselves a whole lot of hurt. You and I know that they mean well. But oh do they spend themselves beautifully on all the wrong things.

      Bill, I appreciate you.

  15. Jack King says:

    Stan, you have asked for help. I hope we can come to your aid. Two thoughts immediately enter my mind. First, with a kind and gentle spirit please let me ask you to reconsider your first rule. It seems to me,there is no one who needs our love (and gifting our stuff can be an outpouring of our love) more than those who may be considered unworthy. The Amish have shown this virtue many times; so, too, have our Native American brothers and sisters. ‘Unworthy’ is a judgment and, in my view, love and judgment cannot coexist. All of us, on some plane, are unworthy. Second, love is the ultimate gift. Irma, to your question: it helps me to realize Love simply is. In first person, it would say, I am. That said, Love is you, me, and life, these three. There’s another reason to bring up the ultimate gift, Stan. Jim Stovall has a book by that title and a movie, based on his book, was released a few years ago. I recommend both. The book outlines a process, of sorts, you may find useful. Instead of scoring people against an arbitrary scale, the author has this young man scale – and conquer – the mountain of ego if he is to inherit ‘the ultimate gift.’ To help him with his journey, he is provided a series of gifts that build character and other-centeredness, a servant heart. That’s the long version. The short version might go something like this: you decide to gift John Doe with this or that because John has indicated he would use it to help such and such. That is to say, John doesn’t want the gift for himself; he wants it for the benefit of others.

    Now, the rest of the story!

    Stan, I believe it is so very important for the rest of us to see a servant heart at work. Some may not understand what it is they are looking at. Others may become suspicious. After all, we live in a ‘what’s in it for me’ world. Some may ask, if you’re giving all your stuff away, what are you GETTING? As I am sure you know, it’s not often in our day and age to see someone place so many others – unconditionally – before themselves. What we are witnessing is a rare, genuine outpouring of love, an authentic love between you and your readers – friends, really – that uplifts and edifies all of us.

    Nestled between the beginning and ending of your podcasts/posts, we visit upon an inherent Beauty that takes leadership to its pinnacle. Those who know me know I see only one reason to lead: love. That’s right. For the sake of love one leads. There’s no other reason. In my view, Stan, your post draws our hearts and thoughts high unto that pinnacle by helping us to see, firsthand, the world’s clumsiness with a shallow, collective tit-for-tat view of leadership that permeates the land. As we have discussed, it is beyond the ‘buying’ and ‘selling’ that we discover, some for the first time, what it is our hearts truly yearn for: the serving nature of leadership. Why? Because it gives. It follows AND leads. And it makes no promise other than to expect nothing in return. Perhaps the answer we seek lies therein. Let us give to those who are giving themselves to others … expecting nothing in return.

    Stan, it is my hope your podcast/post will inspire people to be more giving, to sooner consider others, and to better serve them. If we but find the boldness to be more like you or, at least, the willingness to follow your lead, I am certain we can realign our priorities, inch our ‘giving’ to the number 1 spot, and do more to help create a world of we, a WoW! For many of us, that will take some time, but you have set before us a great example. Your podcast itself is a gift we can easily take along as we walk into the new day, a gift that will forever bring us deeper happiness and joy.

    Thank you, Stan, for loving us, for making yourself vulnerable so that we may become stronger. I love you. And I am glad we share this journey, a journey to make gentle the life of this world. Hugs!

    • Stan Faryna says:

      You’re absolutely right about love, Jack. Thank you, my friend, for preventing me from offending the unbounded nature of love.

      So I’m back to square one on the structure and rules. But not really. Because you’ve given me more than half of an elegant solution.

      I profile the object in a blog post: pictures and some text. In the comments, a person can indicate how he/she would use it for the benefit of others.

      When we get 12 “requests” or some number of days passes, someone or some people will decide where love leaps. How about young, aspiring servant hearts? Can you pull together a committee for this, Jack?

  16. bonnie67 says:

    Hi Stan

    You are really changing from the man I met online 3 years ago. You were a good man then. But now you are going further. I don’t know where this change is headed but I hope it is for the best for you. It scares me. It’s unthinkable what you are trying to do. We’re all trying to get things and here you are trying to give things away. It’s like you don’t want to play the game. It almost feels like you are giving up on life because you are giving up the things that you worked so hard to include in your life.

    God has touched you in so many ways and is still touching you to do better and bigger things. I know in my heart that you didn’t give up. I know you are moving closer to God. But don’t leave us. Not yet. I still need you. I think others feel the same way.

    I fear losing you.

    Despite my fears, I’m behind you supporting you in this new change. I know it means so much to you.

    Keep on Keeping on

    Your friend Bonnie Squires

    PS You’re one amazing person

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Bonnie [big hug]

      I have no plans for going away. But just in case, you have my last blog post. [laughing]

      I’ve just told you everything that I really had to say to you. I spoke my heart with you. And I’ll leave you with a question that will always be with you – a question that might encourage you across all your days and nights.

      If tomorrow is your last day on Earth, what amazing things must you do today?

  17. […] was NicheAmnestyday and quite a few bloggers took advantage of it and took time to share sides that don’t always come out on their blogs. I enjoyed it. It was fun to […]

  18. TheJackB says:


    I think that if you follow your heart you won’t go wrong. Transition and change are a bit unsettling to say the least- but I think that you have a better handle on all this than you realize.
    You have already tapped into the most important part of the blogosphere- the people.
    Several years ago someone I knew took $10,000 and gave it away. Most of it was done at restaurants and supermarkets. He paid for the people who stood in front or behind, picked up random checks and occasionally handed out money.
    I learned a lot from watching what he did. It is amazing how much you get when you give.

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Jack, I appreciate you. And I wish you a million dollars.

      Your encouragement means a lot to me.

  19. TheJackB says:

    Hi Stan,

    FWIW, this reminds me of an ongoing conversation with a couple of friends in which we talk about how much money we “need.”

    It starts out with one of us saying that if we had a million dollars in the bank life would be much easier. It usually moves to the question of why not ask for ten million or 1 billion in the bank.

    From there we work out how much we think we would need to make life better. For example, someone would say “If I had $15,000 I would be able to pay tuition for the kids and while I still might have to work, life would be easier.

    The point is that when we really think through it we usually realize that what we need often isn’t as big an amount as what we want. It is an interesting exercise figuring out need versus want.

    • Stan Faryna says:

      I have a start up idea that will run about $150,000 for the first seven months. If it’s success is obvious (six months from launch), another million is required to get to the five million on the VC table in the next twelve months. [grin] From that five million, it would take us to the 20 million table. Etcetera.

      Myself, I can live on soup. But air conditioning and heating is nice. And Johnny, I need a lot to pay off the ex for custody. [shrug]

  20. Madalina Cristea says:

    Well…that is what I call doing AMAZING THINGS! You are such an inspiration for everyone, Stan! Not anyone has the courage to give up the things they own, not even for money…

    We get so attached to these soulless objects searching for happiness, we forgot that the only thing that brings us real happiness is love.

    The more time passes, the more we forget. We get caught up in this swirl of events that happen around us, we try to keep up with things evolving, but we don’t stop for one single moment to ask ourselves where is this leading us.

    We think is so important to have millions of dollars that we miss so many other things that might make us happy. Small things like the chant of birds early in the morning, the taste of the food we like, or bigger things….like a friend, or maybe even the love of our life. We are so preoccupied by how to achieve happiness that we don’t see we’re doing it wrong!

    I admire you so much more now that you had the courage to look for happiness THE RIGHT WAY, by opening your heart to love. Because as you said “Things don’t have a heart. Or soul. […] they don’t love us back.”

    I will have to give up my things too…whether I want it or not. :giggle: But there will be some things I will keep, some because I need them, not because I love them….and my books, I don’t think I will give those up. 😀

    Another fantastic blog, Stan. I applaud you for your courage and good will! And I am sure your soul is going to be repaid greatly. ^_^

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Maddy, I appreciate you.

      You are a wonderful friend. And I’m sorry that I push you so hard for you to make your dream come true. But someone has to do it.

      What’s on your to do list for today?!

  21. OK, you came to my house and now I’m in yours, and you blew me away with your genuine spirit and how you entwined blogging with generosity of the soul.

    Well, then you got to the chair and I didn’t quite follow, so I skipped all that until I realized you were serious about wanting to give someone a place for their derriere.

    Monetization is not something I’ve ever done; in fact, I have no clue how! Beyond the usual e-book, which ought to be free, right?

    So great to come visit; you’re an inspiration after one post.

    • Stan Faryna says:


      I’m so glad I found you. I’m so glad you found me. And kudos to Stacey (@mylifestylemax on Twitter) for bringing so many people together through her wonderful call for #nicheAmnesty.

      I’ve envisioned, planned, and implemented monetization on larger scales. So I don’t have anything against it. Or money. Or beautiful things for that matter. [grin] It’s just not what I do on my blog. My quick explanation is here:

      There’s more to my giving here than my favorite armchair. There’s antiques, art, books, ceramics, and more. Maddy (she comments above) offered to help me shoot pics. We’ll start shooting tomorrow. Hopefully, we have enough lighting.

      Meanwhile, I’m still working out the details of how to manage this give. If you have suggestions, let me know.

      One more thing…

      Jayme, I appreciate you.

  22. Stan, aloha. What an amazing post. Before replying, I also visited Illana’s to read the post that sparked your thought and inspiration.

    Stan, I find it quite fascinating that you are giving away so much to free yourself. More often than not, it seems our possessions do own us. We worry about if something will happen to them, if someone will steal them and if we now need to buy the newest model.

    Here is a thought for you in terms of giving it away. While you can do as proposed above by taking pictures, showing what you have and then sending it off to the “lucky winner,” here is something else you can do.

    You could also sell the items and then give away those proceeds to the charity/charities of your choice. The people who purchase the items will, hopefully, value them for a time and the charities will benefit. Also, of course, it avoids the sticky problem of “how come you didn’t choose me?”

    Whatever you decide to do, Stan, it will be most interesting to see how this develops. Aloha. Janet

    P.S. You do know, of course, Stan, that giving away your possessions is not going to free you. You have to decide to free yourself; you have to let go of whatever is stopping you from loving as you want. ((Hugs))

    • Stan Faryna says:


      It seems to me that materialism is the old wine of idolatry in a new bottle.

      We love things for what they represent – not what they are. At best, they are reminders of things that matter to the heart. Perhaps, the greatest problem of idolatry is that it is the thin and useless illusion that we control our world and, perhaps, the universe. Feng Shui is the most obvious example of this fallacious mind.

      We must let go of the illusion in order to be present in love. In the now. Most of us will not let go of this illusion as long as we surround ourselves with these representations and symbols of the relationships that we yearn for. With others. With the world.

      Not to mention that it is representations and symbols that are used by the “powerful” to manipulate, enslave, and exploit others for their own private advantage and, ultimately, mis-satisfaction. If humanity could be liberated from the worship of such false gods, we would all understand that power is in love, in service to one another, in lifting each other up, and this belongs to everyone, equally.

      What do you think? How are we going to make this a better world?

      We cannot improve the material lifestyle of every person on this planet to a level of luxury of the American middle class in the 90s. Such aspiration can not be supported by the planet’s resources. The European-American dream, I regret, is bogus. The beauty of small must be made apparent for all to welcome.

      Not as social engineering, but as liberation of the human heart.

      Note: Thank you Janet for helping me to say the things that weigh upon my heart.

  23. Stan Faryna says:

    Janet, I appreciate you.

    Without a doubt, Charities do important work. And I give to various organizations. But I also know that nothing touches the heart more deeply than when one person receives from another person (or gives). Sometimes. [grin]

    There’s also problems with selling things here in Bucharest. On the one hand, I don’t want to help shady characters turn a fast and easy buck at the expense of something beautiful. Neither do I want to expose myself to unnecessary threat and danger. You have no idea how treacherous and/or dangerous people can be here – if given half a chance. [smile]

    In 2000, when I first visited Romania, a news story captured my attention: a 20 year old man killed his grandmother for $10 so he could go to a night club. $10 didn’t buy more than a few drinks.

    I don’t intend to characterize Romanians by that fact, but my ten years here have given me deeper and truer insights into human nature (and behavior) than my American experience of the human person.

    Interestingly enough, I find ex-pats (Americans, Europeans, and others) here tend to do as the Romans do in Rome – in a manner of speaking. Even though necessity does not compel them to do so. Even American corporations operating here do the same.

    For example, HP used to be regarded in the US as a caring employer. Here, HP’s HR record is shocking and deplorable. Employees are paid a salary that often does not cover rent, utilities and food. They are not paid overtime, but they are expected to work overtime. There’s other problems too. Of course, HP has a high turn over rate in Bucharest.

    I often hear grievous complaints about Accenture, Microsoft, and Oracle as well.

    More importantly, I despair sometimes that Bucharest is humanity’s future. And that is something we must actively and untiringly postpone – if not prevent. I admit that I have even feared, sometimes, that I am here in part for the reason of understanding our common future.

    That’s not to say that I haven’t found friendship, loyalty, and love here. For I have. Dante was wrong. There is hope – even in hell. [grin]

  24. […] Stan Faryna: When I first started blogging and seeing Stan’s comments everywhere, I found him scary, intimidating even. I wasn’t sure what to make of him. Then I realised what I was reacting to was a fierce intelligence and the integrity to say what needs to be said, or what he feels will best benefit you. It was at that stage I began to really appreciate and respect this dynamic man. Now..Stan’s giving away the farm..literally..but you must pay postage and package! […]

  25. […] …I got a shot of inspiration from my friend the venerable Stan Faryna, and that was amplified by the  unceasing enthusiasm and encouragement of the superb Bonnie Squi. […]

  26. Wow! You got me so confused here… 🙂

    I don’t know what to make of it.

    You’re definitely a generous man – one can see that. The amount of time you dedicate to online interaction is a gift in itself that you’re giving to all of us.

    You got me confused coz you’re displaying wealth and yet you’re very spiritual. You also have a sort of mystery around your online persona – not sure if this is intentional or simply an accident.

    I love your approach to buying/selling (business) through leadership and inspiration. I think Richard Branson has done it just like that – he’s a very charismatic leader, entertainer – a cool guy – who happens to operate in various industries, doing things better than competition.

    Gotta remember this business philosophy!

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and (literally) your wealth!

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