Do not be afraid. And other social media DOHs.

Do not be afraid. And other social media DOHs.
by Stan Faryna

Play the soundcloud player to hear the podcast. Or download it here. The podcast sounds awesome with earphones or played on hi-fi speakers. Try it and tell me what you think.

Mobile users: you should be able to hear the podcast here.

Stan Faryna at the Moldavita Monastery

This is the last podcast that I can afford to make with the awesome Adrian Klein. It’s the twelfth podcast. My $5,000 budget was spent by the seventh podcast. In fact, Adrian went far beyond the budget to produce, concept, and make the sound for all 12 podcasts. Adrian easily performed $10,000 in services. I have a great debt of friendship to that amazing young man.

The 12 podcasts were intended by me as a gift to you, the reader, and also for my son who might learn English and hear them one day. Of course, miracles can happen and someone might want to syndicate future podcasts. You’ll be the first to know if that happens.

Yes, I could continue to make podcasts by myself. But that would be grungy and raw like a basement production with all the bachelor smell. That’s just not my style. It never was.

Nonetheless, I am deeply thankful for the opportunity to have made these 12 podcasts. Thank you again, Adrian. I feel so much closer to those readers who reached out to me through their comments, likes, tweets, and wall posts.

Thank you. You touched my heart.

I know some of you now feel closer to me because you heard my voice speak my words. And you made me feel your love.

Thank you. And a million-gazillion times – thank you!

Do not be afraid

Without love, we cannot be whole-hearted. Because love breaks through the barricades that fear puts up to stop us from feeling strongly, doing what’s right, and being true.

That’s what I was thinking when I looked up and noticed the Range Rover pointed at me. I was walking along the side of the road. Stirbei Voda is under construction at the Berzei intersection.

The driver was a blonde, twenty something hottie. I presume she was a hottie. Mostly, because of the car. I imagined she had a boy friend that was 10 to 20 years older than her. Most likely, it was his car. These kind of arrangements are normal in Europe. Anyway, she was wearing sunglasses so I couldn’t get a sense of her face. Was she a complete package or not? I didn’t know.

She was talking on her mobile phone and adjusting the radio at the same time.

If I were younger, I would reach into my pocket and throw my iPhone at her windshield to alert her of what was about to happen. She’d veer off. I’d feel that I was master of my fate. Perhaps, I would again feel myself to be yet another young master of the universe.

I used to feel brash and cavalier like that. Especially in my twenties. Less so in my thirties.

Robert F. Kennedy wrote this about youth: youth is a time when courage outweighs timidity.

Youth — not a time of life but a state of mind… a predominance of courage over timidity, of the appetite for adventure over the love of ease.

She looked up at the last minute, swerved, and shot down the road past me. She was still talking on her mobile phone…

Thank you, God.

I wasn’t afraid about what had almost happened. I wasn’t even afraid before she had looked up. I stopped to take a hard puff on my cigarette as I confirmed the trajectory.

I should have been afraid. On the other hand, I was surprised that the absence of fear (of what might have happened) did not realize as yet another exercise in moral action and righteous indignation.

I could have taken off her side view mirror as the Range Rover shot by me. That’s how close she came to taking me out. Normally, I do such things.

Actually, I’m surprised at myself. I’m surprised that I didn’t rip off her side view mirror.

Because that is totally not “me” to let an opportunity for teaching to slip through my fingers. Anyone who knows me well in person knows that I love to teach lessons to people who come into my space without respect for the dignity of the human person. Partly, because people, like dogs, need to be corrected within one second of their mistake.

Don’t you agree, Dino?

I’m not entirely sure why, but I remembered again the American poetess, Maya Angelou, who spoke about human fears in her poem, Touched by an Angel.

Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear from our souls.

Getting home, Angelou’s words again reminded me of a long ago night in Los Angeles when I stepped in front of a loaded .45 to save the stranger pointing his handgun at me. I was a student at the University of Southern California. But that night, I was far off the campus.

That night, Ari and I were visiting a mutual friend, Adam.

Adam was studying classical guitar under John Williams at the U.S.C. School of Music. John Williams happened to be the protégé of the late, great Andres Segovia.

Ari was a 30-something illegal immigrant from Israel, the son of Auschwitz survivors, and a reluctant exile of a missile-making kibbutz.

Ari and I loved to hear Adam play his guitar. We were both sure that Adam was going to be a big, big star. Someday. Despite his black-painted nails. Or, maybe, because of them!

Adam was one of the many renters in a big house in a bad neighborhood. Like the other houses on that broken-down street, it was almost a mansion.

The houses had been built for some of the most wealthy of families of Los Angeles in the early 1900s – long before the hey day of Beverly Hills. But the neighborhood’s demographic had changed several times since then. It was mostly a Hispanic neighborhood now – illegal and legal immigrants renting rooms where the paint was peeling for sixty years – lead paint, no doubt.

To be honest, I was more than a little nervous about being there. I knew it to be a neighborhood torn between two Hispanic gangs.

A year or so after this night, a young man from this neighborhood would be slain in a coffee shop owned and operated by a middle-aged French-Algerian couple. In the last years of my college days, the Ziane’s had become my family away from home. The night of that senseless gang slaying, I would be the one to mop up the blood with buckets and buckets of hot water and Clorox.

But that’s another story for another time.

Unfortunately, Adam didn’t have a lot of choices about where he could rent. He was struggling to pay for school as it was. He couldn’t afford campus housing offered by the University. That’s why he was living in this big house in a bad neighborhood.

One of Adam’s house mates was a family of six from El Salvador. They had a small room. About six by eight feet.

Another housemate was a middle-aged African American woman. Angela fostered three orphans (state wards) to pay for the rent and booze. She wanted to know what she could do for the bottle of Jack Daniels that Ari was carrying.

We shut the door to Adam’s room.

Adam had been transcribing Vivaldi’s Four Seasons for electric guitar. He was playing a tape of his work when we heard a noisy commotion outside: yelling, screaming and glass breaking. It wasn’t any business of ours, but we went out to see what was going on.

We went outside against Ari’s protests. Being an illegal immigrant, Ari tended to avoid being near or around any kind of trouble.

Apparently, Adam had Nicaraguan neighbors.

A man had come home from work to find his best friend in bed with his wife. He was about to execute the offender in the front yard. The offender, drunk and pathetic, was on his knees crying and begging for his life. The wife, also drunk, was yelling and begging for someone to stop the madness.

Adam, Ari, and I didn’t know what to do – other than call the police.

Adam went to call the police. But it was obvious to me there wasn’t time enough for L.A.P.D. to get there.

Some of the other neighbors gathered around to see – but nobody was doing or saying anything.

The furious husband ripped off his shirt to reveal terrible scars stretching across his chest and back – scars he had received as a three-time war prisoner of the Sandinista. He told everyone watching how he had suffered enough. He was a good man, he worked hard for his family, but enough was enough.

Moved out of compassion for the betrayed husband, I walked up and put myself physically between him and the offender.

I was afraid. But what else could I do?

I could only hope that he was a good enough man not to shoot a well-intentioned young man. Unbid tears streamed from my eyes.

The offender hugged my legs and begged me to save him. The husband raised the .45 to my face.

I told the husband that I didn’t want to die. I told him I didn’t want anyone to die. Not tonight.

I was pretty sure I was going to die. But I was also sure that I would make a difference that night. My death would serve a purpose – even if only to touch the hearts of the witnesses. To remind them that we must not be prisoners of fear.

People shouted to me to get out of there.

I put my hand on a long scar that ran across his chest. I told him that this was not the way. That he was a good man. And good men do not do evil.

The police arrived an hour after the show was over. They asked questions. Nobody said anything.

Later that night and after a bottle of Jack Daniels, Ari and Adam came to the conclusion that I was a first class dumbass.


Within each of us is a heart that can wage a tireless, bold fight against fear, hatred, and misunderstanding – not to mention violence, injustice, and evil of every kind.

In our hearts, there is hope and a Dream that generously applies to all. Sometimes, we can share that hope and Dream with others and change the outcome of an unfortunate moment.

It can be shared, I believe, because this Dream, like Abraham Lincoln’s dream of the last best hope, travels the longer road to human freedom.

When we are true, the unquestionable authority and grace of love moves in our hearts. And the hearts of others.

Or am I mad?

Stan Faryna
1 September 2011
Bucharest, Romania

P.S. Special thanks to Robert Pattinson for his awesome vocals. Yeah, Hollywood star Robert Pattinson of the box-office smashing Twilight movies.

Faryna Podcasts recently produced by Adrian Klein:

1. Why do I blog: Faryna Podcast EP1

2. If Tomorrow Was Your Last Day: Faryna Podcast EP2

3. Money Can’t Buy Happiness: Faryna Podcast EP3

4. The First Duty of Love is to Listen: Faryna Podcast EP4

5. Are You Ready for Love? Faryna Podcast EP5

6. Reading The Desiderata. Faryna Podcast EP6

7. What is Love? Faryna Podcast EP7

8. Confessions of a Freak-Geek-Misfit. Faryna Podcast EP8

9. Do you love strongly? Faryna Podcast EP9

10. Empty-handed, Less Traveled Roads. Faryna Podcast 10

11. The Economics of Friendship. Faryna Podcast 11

Note: If you want to make a professional podcast out of your blog post, get in touch with Adrian Klein on Twitter or Facebook.

Faryna Podcast EP12 Information
Do not be afraid by Stan Faryna. ©2011 Some Rights Reserved.
Produced by Adrian Klein.
Music by Adrian Klein. Some Rights Reserved by Adrian Klein
Vocals: Robert Pattinson – yeah, Twilight’s Robert Pattinson


54 Responses to Do not be afraid. And other social media DOHs.

  1. Betsy Cross says:

    Amazing isn’t it… to see what we do with the moments given to us. We being a unique and unalterable piece of the puzzle at any given moment. We all have reasons for the way we show up or stay “hidden”. And our hope is that people hearing our story will have compassion for those decisions; the gunman for his frustration, Ari for his desire not to be found out, the woman on the cellphone.. .I can relate to her story.
    I’d almost sideswiped a man as I was pulling into a parking space at the grocery store. He kept walking. An older woman came and yelled at me. She said, “You in your big SUV! People like you only care about yourselves. And you probably have a cellphone, too!” She walked away and I put my baby back in his car seat, crawled to my seat, shut the door and cried. We owned a 9-seat Suburban because we had 7 children at the time. It was old and paid off. My husband was sick and getting worse, and had just lost his job. I didn’t own a cellphone. I couldn’t afford one. I wished bad things for that woman. But when I remembered her face I knew she was miserable and believed there was someone to blame. Someone who could distract her from her failure to be accountable to her happiness or lack of.
    What a difference she would have made if she’d asked why I was so distracted!

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Big hug to you, Betsy.

      Yes. I’ve been on the wrong side of the story, myself. In other words, the antagonist, the bad guy, or the creep. It’s important to remember that we are as flawed as everyone else that has done us wrong. Or done wrong to someone written in our hearts.

      I try really, really hard not to wish bad things on those that offend me. Or those that succeed to do harm upon me. Because what if you get your wish!? Karma (for lack of a better word) is going to bring it back. Still, it can happen to me in the heat of the moment.

      “We being a unique and unalterable piece of the puzzle at any given moment.”

      This is a beautiful koan for me. Something to meditate upon like a mantra that overflows with light. Thank you for this, Betsy.

      And I’m still thinking about your last blog post:

  2. Hi Stan, great podcast! You are an excellent story teller, and a brave soul. I know you feel good about that day, I applaud you for you saved more than one man’s life that night. Have a great day!

  3. Madalina Cristea says:

    This is my favorite podcast, and I’m sad this is the last one.
    You are a brave man, Stan, and you have a big BIG soul. We need more people like you. You are one of the few that have a real chance of doing amazing things, of making this world a better place, and not just by words, but by facts too.

    Thank you for making my life better, and I hope that one day I will be able to repay you for everything you did for me. You are a real friend. Thank you, thank you, thank you!


    • Stan Faryna says:

      Big hug to you Maddy!

      You’re one of the few people that comment here that know me in all my ugliness. [laughing]

      I’m sure glad you have a lot of nice things to say about me – despite my clay feet.

      If anyone reading this is from London and has ideas about how Maddy can get some freelance or full time design work in London, please let me know at

      She’ll be in London shortly.

  4. Yogizilla says:

    Gosh Stan…

    Sometimes you remind me of myself in that you can pack so much value and fill our hearts in so many ways with one piece of content. I don’t even know where to begin and I imagine that is why my blog doesn’t garner many comments, yet people come back often.

    It seems that you, like me, can be a bit of a knight-in-shining-armor, a freedom fighter, and an educator, before all else.. You invest more in helping others and I love that. I wish I was in a position to re-invest in communities and help the “little guys” out more.. but I will be soon enough.

    You keep us inspired and humbled, my friend, and we need more folks like you to spread authentic, whole-hearted messages like this. Now that your podcast series is done (for now) I am saddened… But it created urgency in many regards for me.

    I hope we can podcast together. I have some plans in the works with @MattGron and @StJohnMarketing to do some videos and podcasts. I feel those mediums resonate with a wider audience and we can discuss the little things that perhaps some of us lack the courage to be more transparent with.

    What’s wonderful here is that we see that you are a real human being. You rarely ever self-promote and, when you do, it’s natural and still shares value with everyone.. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: thank you for being so selfless!

    The bit about the “hottie” messing with her phone.. Oh boy.. That hit home for me. I’ve seen so many tragedies happen when people were too self-absorbed and lacked courtesy. Apparently, common sense is not that common.

    I think we all could use a reminder every now and then to remember others.. Remember what it is to be on the other side, folks.. Don’t lose yourselves in the silly stuff that sometimes consumes and distracts us.

    You’re a hero to me, Stan.. And I am happy we got to nurture our bond more. I consider you more than a buddy.. You are my friend. And I hope the feeling is mutual.

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Yomar! Dude! Shucks!

      I have to confess that I’m a big believer in self-promotion. I leave URLs to my blog posts all over the place. What may be confusing you is that I’m not doing it to make money, glamor, or influence. [grin] On occasion, I put the message, bad wolf, out there too. Sometimes in binary.

      That brings me to Tom Baker. He had a cool scarf. But mine is a considerable improvement. It even has a name. Bubba!

      Here’s a picture of Bubba:

      Speaking of Doctor Who, he’s all about saving the world. Again and again. Because the world is always in trouble. The bad props of the old Who never bothered me because the story is everything: a man (or woman) can save a world in trouble.

      I would have liked to see Torchwood evolve into story about a tribe of people out there fixing the things that normally the Doctor fixes. It could have been a beautiful and uplifting metaphor for us taking responsibility for our world. For each other.

      I used to think of myself as a knight in shining armor. My sword was broken to pieces and scattered. My armor was crushed under foot and chewed up by a dragon disguised as a maiden in distress. My horse was boiled up into a soup (ref. to the mule in the Post Man).

      I travel lightly now. I lean upon a prayer. I am free and freedom is as wonderful as it is terrifying.

      I’d like to hear more about your podcasting ideas.

      And, yeah, you do pack it with a lot of bang. There’s a lot there in your blog post on unbounce. I could go back there a few more times:

      • Yogizilla says:

        Haha.. See that?

        I know you’re bing on self-promotion but you do it in a way that I think few people could really complain about. You know how it is when you link to something: people automatically assume you’re trying to “sell” something. Truth be told, we’re all selling something but it’s not for monetary gain all the time. There’s a key difference.

        Education and awareness are at the forefront of “what I do”. I’m developing a curriculum to provide free workshops and classes to folks that may not know how they can use the Internet to learn new skills, help them find their true calling, or make money online. I also want to help parents point their kids in the right direction.

        If it leads to some sales, great, but, if not, helping others will be more than rewarding. I think you’re in the same boat as I am. We follow our gut and passions, then let everything fall into place. It’s not always about making money but, yes, we have to make a living.

        Your spiritual adventures are a breath of fresh air in a space that is naturally inclined to be filled with songs of “me me meeeeeee!” Haha

        So, yes, the Doctor is a true hero.. He’s quite tragic and, no matter how much he fixes, other things break.. And people end up blaming him for their shortcomings. Thankless jobs.. We’re good about those, eh? That’s what makes the few sincere thank-you’s so powerful, I’d say!

        Torchwood is a great show. I’m a bit out of the loop but you’re right that it could have been more. It certainly feels like they made it into a darker Doctor Who spin-off.. In some ways, it *does* show how “normal” humans get together to do extraordinary things. I don’t know if they derailed from that premise but the few more recent episodes I’ve caught were intriguing, to say the least. It seems like Captain Jack becomes the tragic hero in this story, much like Doctor Who.. but he has his own issues and I suppose it’s a more soapy story, eh?

        Let’s connect on Skype and brainstorm some.. Plus chat about whatever comes to mind, bro! Add me.. I’m Yogizilla on there as well.

        Thanks for plugging my article as well. Though the social scoring part of the contest is done, I’d still love to read more comments. I’m developing some content via other mediums and it’ll be based on the inquiries I’ve gotten “on and off page” thereof. Plus, I’m sure it may help sway the judges when they start calculating the originality, writing style, and “x factors”. Haha

        (I too believe in self-promotion so long as you’re not TOO selfish.. you definitely give more than you take, Stan!)

  5. John Garrett says:

    Stan, you are very impressive! From the podcast reading to the stories to putting yourself in harms way to prevent tragedy.

    Not everyone would do that. I’d like to think I would, I really hope I would.

    I’ve tried to make myself more aware and empathetic toward people in recent years. Many of them are struggling with the same issues I am and you are and others.

    I don’t always succeed in doing this, but I gotta keep striving.

    Anyway, this was a great listen, and I’ll look forward to the miracle of future podcasts happening!

  6. Stan Faryna says:

    John, your courage to quit your day job and put your money where your mouth is very impressive! I’m rooting for you.

    We are all struggling, John. In one way or another. We are all being tested. And, yeah, most of us, aren’t making good use of our blessings. Myself included.

    I have a strong suspicion that we do get what we need to do amazing things. But it’s not obvious to us. Maybe, because some of us just aren’t applying ourselves to the right kind of amazing things.

    You have a powerful gift to make graphic art. For example, the Triberr graphic rocks. I have to wonder why you aren’t doing much more of that.

    Did you ever feel that Milwaukee is sitting on your chest like a 500 pound gorilla? I don’t say that as a criticism. I swear! Just wondering what’s keeping that powerful talent of yours down.

    That reminds me. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You have the best about page ever. This from a guy that has personally reviewed and analyzed tens of thousands of web sites. Or more. Since 1995.

    If you haven’t seen John’s page, it’s here:

    • Yogizilla says:

      Kudos to you both for reminding our fellows that we all go through struggles. You don’t wake up one day and find yourself being “set” or “perfect”. Sadly, this is not an aspect many people talk about. That’s why there are folks like us supporting each other, right?

      I have a graphics guy and do quite a bit DIY (I’m a bootstrapper so I sometimes have no choice here) but I could always use reliable people in my referral network. Thanks for plugging John the way you did, Stan. That’s why you’re the MAN!

      Don’t forget: no matter how hard it gets, don’t give up. If you feel you found your calling and that is where your passions reside, keep on pushing forward.. Stories like that keep us inspired and our thoughts will carry you forward.

      Keep on rockin’!

      • Stan Faryna says:

        “You don’t wake up one day and find yourself being set or perfect.”

        Yogizilla, you said it. As I mentioned in my confessional podcast, that road to be who I am took me through heaven and hell more times than I can count.

        And I still got a long way to go. And I hate that, dude. I hate it. Hate it! But hey, that’s how it works. [grin]

      • Yogizilla says:

        Well, Stan, you know how it is: if we could just set our eyes and hearts on something and get it, everyone would be just where they want to be.. but then what is life for? It’s the struggle that helps us appreciate and manifest what we really desire to have and become.

        Thing is, sometimes folks get distracted by little, fleeting victories.. They lose sight of their most powerful WHYs. I try to live a purpose and principle-driven life because then the journey does not seem quite so arduous, yanno? 8)

  7. Yet if we are bold,
    love strikes away the chains of fear from our souls.

    Ah, I am transfixed by this line. Had more to say,but honestly I need to just think about those words.

  8. Stan Faryna says:

    Jack, I know just how you feel.

    Thanks for stopping by. I know you got your hands full over there.

    Five minutes ago, I was reading your blog post, You Need Courage To Live. I’m not even sure how I got back there. But I just wanted to let you know that I liked your thoughts regarding the teaching of your children about failure.

    “I talk to the children about failure and all of the lessons that can be learned from it. I am very candid about these stories. I am not one of these parents who goes crazy trying to catch my children every time they fall. I need for them to fail a few times because they have to develop coping skills. They have to learn how to deal with adversity. The challenge lies in trying to let them fail without crushing their self esteem.”

  9. Wow Stan! What a way to end your streak of podcasts! I don’t even know where to start.

    There was so much here! You have an uncanny ability to touch people on an emotional level through your stories and voice.

    And thank you to Adrian for his work too. This is grade A stuff.

    One line keeps ringing in my head after listening/reading: “My death would serve a purpose – even if only to touch the hearts of the witnesses. To remind them that we must not be prisoners of fear.”

    Yes Stan, you are mad! 🙂

    But it is the “mad” people out there that make real differences. Mad people that put themselves out there personally in a podcast like this. Mad people that have the courage to change the world – and luckily, in our case, you have changed it for the better.

    I hope that more people get to hear this podcast.

    • Stan Faryna says:


      So you’re saying, I’m crazy – a good kinda crazy. Well, I can live with that. [grin]

      Of course, I don’t go looking for trouble like I did in my twenties. Not like you… living your awesome adventure out in the Big Apple.

      • Yogizilla says:

        Yes yes yes!

        You GOT to be crazy to really stand out. If everyone agrees with you all the time, that means you’re thinking too small or conforming. Mr. @EugeneFarber is right on there!

        You both make a big difference, even if people do not always take the time out to say it.

        You matter to me.

  10. Yes my friend, mad indeed; passionate, deep, but mad indeed. I pictured myself in your shoes and there was a time I was bulletproof and might have been that shield; but you are very lucky to be alive.

    You have certainly experienced much in your life and I’m envious of your broad life experiences; it gives you a much better perspective of what matters and what doesn’t. You definitely march to your own beat.

    FYI – I had the opportunity to see Maya Angelou Jan 28th of this year. She spoke at a local college and it was quite an interesting evening.

    I have enjoyed the podcasts, but I’ve had the luxury to see you live via Skype as well. So no Kurt Cobain grunge, huh?

    I look forward to what you have in store; I can count on it to be interesting and thought provoking. Good luck my friend.

    • Yogizilla says:

      Hey Stan! Be careful with this Bill character: he’ll eat all the pretzel bites before you even get a chance to sniff the wonderful aroma of the honey mustard. Haha

      Just spreading some love and good humor.. It’s neat to see how many common buddies and friends we all share. You have a wonderful audience here, Stan – you truly are THE MAN! =oD

  11. Stan Faryna says:


    Thanks for showing up! It means a lot to me. I can’t begin to imagine all the parties you are trying to keep up with…

    How do you keep a day job with your online social schedule?!

    I sure do envy you your evening with Maya Angelou. Wow!

    She has a website:

    Anyway, I am thankful that I have traveled a little. Also in the heart.

    I do wonder sometimes how different my life would have been if my high school sweet heart hadn’t flirted with the quarterback at her alma mater. But lucky for me, she did. [laughing] And that, perhaps…

    And that has made all the difference. (1)

    I worry about you, Bill. I understand that Mrs. Dorman wants to know where you are going with all this social media. And the answer can’t be – To the moon, Alice! (2)

    The next time you think she’s going to ask, you need to bring home a box of chocolates and waltz in with a little Love’s Paradise (3) humming on the iPhone.

    And me, what I really would like to know, Mr. Dot Me (4), is how do you keep up with all the comments!?

    Oh- I couldn’t have said it better myself. What you said on Space Agency’s blog:

    “Is social media here to stay; absolutely. Is there unlimited opportunities; absolutely. What does all that mean in the grand scheme of things; probably not a whole lot [yet].”

    I added the yet, because there’s this thing that this dead French dude called the Noosphere (5). And it looks like it’s forming- but who the heck knows how long it will take for a critical mass to gather into an Omega point. Yeah, I know, this is far out.


    (1) Ref. to Robert Frost’s The Road Not Taken.
    (2) Ref to the Honeymooners

    (3) Ref to Solomon Burke’s Lover’s Paradise

    (4) Dot Me; FKA The Invisible One
    (5) Ref. To Teilhard de Chardin’s big idea

    • billdorman says:

      I have total freedom of time with my day. However, I have to be judicious of my social media time during ‘working’ hours. Yes, some days I let it suck me in but a lot of it is dictated by the appointments I have or work that has to be done.

      The wife; most of my ‘catching up’ is during what might have normally been my TV time so I would rather be ‘socializing’ than doing nothing. Of course, that is all the wife sees so shes knows I’m on the computer quite a bit. I think she would prefer me to have direction instead of just being social.

      Because I do spend so much time engaging, I’m woefully weak in many other areas. In reality I spend very little time comparatively speaking on twitter, Google+, Facebook or LinkedIn because I’m knee deep in the blogs. Therefore at times, I can still look like a SM dummy.

      I concur with your thoughts on my reply at Howie’s place. Oh, it’s out there and the ‘yet’ has yet to come.

      i love your creativity on my response. Good job my friend.

  12. You’re not mad, Stan!

    Funny thing is, usually my closest (sweetheart, mom, or whatever) don’t see such interventions as a brave and noble thing to do. But yet when they watch a movie and the main character does something like that, they’re all impressed to tears.

    Are they being selfish for not letting me take chances for others? Am I ungrateful to them caring for others (strangers)?

    I saved two men from drowning (a young fellow and an old man) and they both almost drowned me as they grabbed me and climbed on me. Yes I endangered myself but I felt it was the natural thing to do.

    Not being afraid and at least trying to do something good is our responsibility. It seems that the Universe takes care of the rest.

    Thank you for another piece of inspiration, Stan!

    • Stan Faryna says:


      I love your name, dude. It’s imperial. It’s powerful. It’s a name for heroes and saints. It’s a big name to live up to. [grin]

      I’m not surprised that you saved two men from drowning. And I will presume to speak on behalf of the universe and tell you, thank you, dude. Thank you and may God always bless you.

      You come across to me as a man of extraordinary action – a man who yearns to do amazing things. You laugh in the face of risks and you sometimes tempt fate with a cool hand. You walk the razor’s edge with confidence and passion. And, sometimes, it feels better than love. [ref. to a song by hurt]

      I love this cliff diving photo of you:

      Rescuing drowning or endangered swimmers is no easy thing – not even for professional lifeguards and rescue professionals. I also understand that it takes great physical strength as well as courage.

      We can all understand your mom, sweetheart, etc. What matters most of all to them is you, your safety, your well being, and you being alive and in their life. It’s sweet. It’s good to be loved and needed like that.

      It can be annoying at times. I know the feeling.

      They can fearlessly appreciate and celebrate heroes as long as it is not you putting yourself at risk or sacrifice. And if you do and they get upset about it, you do know that beyond their fear of losing you, they have the greatest pride and admiration for you.

      Thank you, Constantin, for inspiring me.

  13. I think you’re mad ! A Mad fricking genius ! Great post Stan. Sorry i havent been here in awhile. trying to keep the momentum going, writing, marketing, commenting, planning, etc. I am with you, how the hell does Bill D. do it ?

    Fear is an interesting topic. Made me think of the acronyms for FEAR i learned in recovery.
    the old me; F**k Everything And Run. (Not good)
    and to get better: Face Everything And Recover. Facing your fears. Admiiting they are real and dealing with them. I know it’s a different kind of fear. But it’s still Fear. Right ?

    And love the honeymooners. To the moon, Alice. classic.

    Love the way you tell a story, bro. You must have been some fun and crazy guy to hang out with. We would have had some major fun. Thanks again for all you do, Stan.


    • Stan Faryna says:

      Love your new profile picture, Al!

      That’s moving your social campaign forward. For you. And for The C.A.R.E. Movement.

      I still do want to help you keep C.A.R.E. moving forward. Don’t hesitate to ask for my help, Al.

      And ain’t Bill amazing?! We could all learn a thing or two about what social is about from him. Insurance, of course, is all about being social.

      Fear is awesome, Al. I couldn’t agree more. Sometimes, it’s a friend. Sometimes, it’s a cruel master and the greatest of all your enemies.

      Seems to me, fear is fear. Just like you say. And we need to keep it close – in a manner of speaking. At a distance, fears often appear larger and more dangerous than they are.

      Big hug to you, Al.

  14. What resonated for me, Stan, with this, your last podcast for a while, was generosity. You and Adrian have been incredibly generous in giving us these amazing gifts of podcasts/blogs that touch our souls. Stan, you were generous to the driver in not judging her or taking off her mirror. You were generous to both the cheater and the husband by risking your life so their lives wouldn’t be ruined. You have been generous in citing others’ works in your replies to comments on this post.

    And God has been generous to us by keeping you here on Earth to enrich so many lives.

    Thank you.

    • Stan Faryna says:


      I just voted for your blog, the Wonder of Tech!


      Thank you for your kind words. They touch my heart. Deeply. Like sunshine.

      Sometimes, I wonder if what I’m doing truly counts for something. Today. And also in the bigger picture of my life.

      That night in Los Angeles near Vermont and 31st stands out in my mind as a day that counts. I don’t own a lot of days like that. Worse, I also have those days when I didn’t count. And somehow those days that don’t count weigh upon my heart – remind me that I’m a creep.

      Like when I scrooged that elderly woman in Atlanta- the one that I mention in my confession. Nevermind that I was a child.

      I remember another time when I failed the test as a young man.

      I got a call from someone who was afraid, someone who knew terrible things were going on, and someone who had a lot of hard evidence: documents, invoices, photographs, etc. I asked her to fax me something and she did. It turned out she had five years of evidence that connected the dots across big business and government.

      I brought the subject to my boss, Amy Moritz, who told me to immediately stop communications with that person and just forget it ever happened. This is the kind of thing, Amy explained, that would black list me – if I got involved in it. It was the kind of thing, she said, that would give me great trouble and put me in a world of hurt.

      I ended up calling that person when I got home. I listened to her tell me about how so called third term abortions were being made in an illegal manner and the still living bodies of these “premature” children were being sold by hospitals to medical research companies. The mothers had no idea.

      The mothers had only been told that the abortions were successful procedures. That the remains of the fetus were unrecognizable pulp to be disposed of by the hospital according to strict health regulations on biological waste.

      Someone was on to that person who I was talking to; she was getting death threats. She was told that if she let the cat out of the bag, she’d be dead on the same day. The police, she explained, weren’t taking those threats seriously but she didn’t explain to them why she was getting death threats.

      I discussed the issue with people that I trusted. Everyone told me to forget about this woman and her problems.

      They told me to move on. Move forward. Mind my own business. Focus on my dreams. This wasn’t my problem. What I needed to focus on was success.

      Some of them warned me that if I got involved, I would be putting the people that I cared about into harm’s way. Did they deserve that? How could I make that decision for them?!

      I was even told that this was a fight that I couldn’t win. That the woman would be dead as soon as I put the evidence into the hands of journalists and prosecutors. That I would be dead. And if I went on the run, the people that I loved would be dead.

      I was afraid. I was afraid for her. I was afraid for me. For my future. For the people written in my heart.

      I cried through the night. This test was too big for me. I was convinced that I couldn’t help that woman.

      For days after telling her that I couldn’t help her, I thought often of killing myself. Because I lacked the courage to help that woman. Because I failed to do the right thing.

      I despaired greatly. And to this day, I continue to live with that shame. I continue to seek forgiveness and healing for my failure.

      I remain so very and so deeply sorry for that failure.

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  24. […] This list was obviously interesting and worth sharing because it didn’t champion Twilight. Not that Twilight sucks. How could I say that when Twilight’s star backs me up as vocalist on my favorite podcast. […]

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  26. handgun safe ratings…

    […]Do not be afraid. And other social media DOHs. « The unofficial blog of Stan Faryna[…]…

  27. […] all about freedom, justice, and the dignity of the human person – not to mention love, hope, and faith. Or so I […]

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  29. This post remains one of my favorite pieces of writing ever. Thank you for sharing it with us, Stan.

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