How to stalk people on Twitter – the right way.

How to stalk people on Twitter – the right way.

A hand-made, deep dish chicken pot pie – just a thing I do.

We The Kings, Say You Like Me

I’ve written about Twitter before. I explained the general strategy of the first 1,000 tweets – if you are using Twitter to do business. I’m still not calling myself a social media expert – in case you have forgotten.

All of us who do any kind of social media – Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, blogging, or whatever – do it to connect with the world, with people, and, yes, with ourselves. Because somehow we shall (and we do) discover our selves in and through the world. And others.

It’s in our very design. In other words, social and stalking are inescapable. Unavoidable. Inevitable.
character count: 102

Whether one embraces social for business, curiosity, fame, fortune, or personal growth, there’s a right way to stalk. And a wrong way.

If anything characterizes good stalking, better than others, it is purpose, attention, and courtesy.

Let’s consider further the right way – how you can stalk with style and without fear of countermeasures, blocking, police inquiries, or, worse, retaliation by a mob of angry, fearful sock puppets.


Every relationship requires certain purpose. Purpose in social begins with five questions:

1. Who do you want to connect with?
2. Why do you want to connect with them?
3. What do you want from the engagement?
4. What do you have to offer in return for their attention?
5. What can you give without expectation of any return?


You need to give it and you want to get it: attention. Attention is nothing less than accepting the presence of another as a gift.

1. Follow

Follow them on the social platform(s) of their preference. Just because they have a Twitter account doesn’t mean they engage on Twitter.

2. Understand

Understand how they are a gift to you. Build insight about them through their public social messaging. You need to know more than their company’s name and business, more than their job title, and more than 20 tweets or 3 blog posts.

What music are they listening to?

What does it mean about what they are going through now?

What do they really care about?

Read between the lines.

3. Engage

Engage them directly with encouragement, enthusiasm, and you. Don’t toy with coy cat and mouse games – in the expectation that they may discover you. Don’t forget that it is you who are stalking them.


Courtesy may be a ritual – but it can be a beautiful ritual through which we can extend ourselves in the offer of friendship. Or, perhaps, reveal the gift of our presence.

1. Gratitude is the greatest of all gifts – irregardless of whether it is received well or not.

If you enjoyed something they’ve tweeted or shared…

a. Thank them for the tweet or share
b. Retweet or reshare
c. Share why it is worthy of your appreciation on Google +, Facebook, Pinterest, or your blog

2. Encouragement is the most needed of gifts. Encouragement can never be untimely.


a. Join them in celebration
b. Encourage them in defeat
c. Stand by them when they are under seige

3. Sharing yourself can be the most beautiful of gifts. Give freely without any expectation.

I’m not talking about the TMI (Too Much Information) Category!

a. Offer a solution with humility
b. Share a poignant story relevant to what they are talking about
c. Ask for advice, guidance, or help

Go forth and do amazing things.


If you think that this blog post sucks, let me know in your comment and don’t forget to include a link to YOUR favorite blog post.

If you think this blog post rocks, tell me why it rocks in the comment. “Awesome,””Great post,” etc. works for me. Don’t forget to include a link to YOUR most recent blog post.

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Stan Faryna

7 March 2012
Bucharest, Romania

Stan Faryna


15 Responses to How to stalk people on Twitter – the right way.

  1. Betsy Cross says:

    I LOVE stalking! HA!
    Seriously, though, this applies to offline as well as online behavior that builds trust and long-lasting friendships.

  2. Great post, Stan! It’s all about authenticity and reciprocity whether online or offline.

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Yes, Sandra! I don’t know why we sometimes don’t get that being human, being us, and being you or me – applies equally on- or off-line

  3. I really try to be nice to everyone I come to know via the social media circus. And those I don’t particularly care for (which is like .000001%) I just ignore. 🙂

  4. Edgar Mejia says:

    I like to illustrate it like this: if I invite you into my network, it’s like being invited to my party. Don’t show up wearing a sign trying to sell everyone your products. Instead, consider yourself fortunate, get to know me better, and when we’ve earned each other’s trust — and only then — go for it, sell! By then, I may have become your best advocate.

    Until then, don’t email or tweet me your pitch.

  5. Hey Stan, this is a lovely post, thank you! On- or offline I would wish for people to have such high standards, our world would be a better place. 😉

  6. Confirm the Twitter Account (If you’re not already logged in to your twitter account, you will need to log-in first for the first time you start using TweetStalk. Simply confirm your username and click on the Stalk button to start stalking….

    I’m not sure why people wouldn’t want to let the person know when they are following but I guess there are certain twitter users who likes to stay anonymous but still wants to deep into the twitter world. So if you prefer to “Stalk” people than to “follow” then TweetStalk is for you

  7. I agree with Betsy, the tips you give can also apply to any relationship we’re trying to cultivate . . . love the post. Thanks!

  8. Sir, if I’m not mistaken I do believe you are talking about common courtesy. I don’t think it will ever go out of fashion………..

  9. alaskachick says:

    Hey! How come I don’t have any stalkers! (printed to be studied and to be sure I can answer all these questions properly!!)

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