How to stalk people on Twitter – the right way.

A hand-made, deep dish chicken pot pie – just a thing I do.

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We The Kings, Say You Like Me

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I’ve written about Twitter before. I explained the general strategy of the first 1,000 tweets – if you are using Twitter to do business. I’m still not calling myself a social media expert – in case you have forgotten.

All of us who do any kind of social media – Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, blogging, or whatever – do it to connect with the world, with people, and, yes, with ourselves. Because somehow we shall (and we do) discover our selves in and through the world. And others.

It’s in our very design. In other words, social and stalking are inescapable. Unavoidable. Inevitable.
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Whether one embraces social for business, curiosity, fame, fortune, or personal growth, there’s a right way to stalk. And a wrong way.

If anything characterizes good stalking, better than others, it is purpose, attention, and courtesy.

Let’s consider further the right way – how you can stalk with style and without fear of countermeasures, blocking, police inquiries, or, worse, retaliation by a mob of angry, fearful sock puppets.

Purpose

Every relationship requires certain purpose. Purpose in social begins with five questions:

1. Who do you want to connect with?
2. Why do you want to connect with them?
3. What do you want from the engagement?
4. What do you have to offer in return for their attention?
5. What can you give without expectation of any return?

Attention

You need to give it and you want to get it: attention. Attention is nothing less than accepting the presence of another as a gift.

1. Follow

Follow them on the social platform(s) of their preference. Just because they have a Twitter account doesn’t mean they engage on Twitter.

2. Understand

Understand how they are a gift to you. Build insight about them through their public social messaging. You need to know more than their company’s name and business, more than their job title, and more than 20 tweets or 3 blog posts.

What music are they listening to?

What does it mean about what they are going through now?

What do they really care about?

Read between the lines.

3. Engage

Engage them directly with encouragement, enthusiasm, and you. Don’t toy with coy cat and mouse games – in the expectation that they may discover you. Don’t forget that it is you who are stalking them.

Courtesy

Courtesy may be a ritual – but it can be a beautiful ritual through which we can extend ourselves in the offer of friendship. Or, perhaps, reveal the gift of our presence.

1. Gratitude is the greatest of all gifts – irregardless of whether it is received well or not.

If you enjoyed something they’ve tweeted or shared…

a. Thank them for the tweet or share
b. Retweet or reshare
c. Share why it is worthy of your appreciation on Google +, Facebook, Pinterest, or your blog

2. Encouragement is the most needed of gifts. Encouragement can never be untimely.

Sympathize…

a. Join them in celebration
b. Encourage them in defeat
c. Stand by them when they are under seige

3. Sharing yourself can be the most beautiful of gifts. Give freely without any expectation.

I’m not talking about the TMI (Too Much Information) Category!

a. Offer a solution with humility
b. Share a poignant story relevant to what they are talking about
c. Ask for advice, guidance, or help

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Go forth and do amazing things.

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Stan Faryna

7 March 2012
Bucharest, Romania

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