YOU don’t suck, but maybe you suck at social media. And other life DOHs.
by Stan Faryna
Cristina Perri, A Thousand Years
Brené Brown speaks to us again about vulnerability. It’s an all new TED Talk! “Vulnerability is not weakness… vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.”
Shame, Brown argues, is an unspoken epidemic that fuels broken behavior, disconnection, and unhappiness. Brené Brown, whose TED talk last year on vulnerability became a viral hit, explores the wonderful things that can happen when people confront their shame head-on.
Brené Brown paraphrases President Theodore Roosevelt’s famous quote about the man in the arena.
Roosevelt’s original quote is this:
It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.
Brené Brown reminds us that when the man in the arena fails, he does so by daring greatly.
Shame is ‘I am bad’, guilt is ‘I did something bad’… Shame is highly, highly correlated to addiction, depression, violence, agression, bullying, suicide, eating disorders… Guilt [is] inversely correlated with those things.
Shame feels the same for men and women, Brown explains. But shame, she says, is organized by gender. For women, shame is competing and conflicting expectations about what they are supposed to be. For men, shame is weakness, not being the hero. Or superhero. It’s not living up to the legend that men are expected to be.
“Empathy is the antidote to shame,” says Brown.
22 March 2012
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