I have nothing deep to say about social media today.
by Stan Faryna
Write. Just write. That’s what Jack wrote.
His words resound in my mind.
Like an alarm. Like my iphone alarm at 6am. The nuclear meltdown siren. The message courtesy of MC Hammer:
We got to pray just to make it today…
What ever happened to MC Hammer?
What if I have nothing deep to say about social media today? Is that ok with you?
The Roots, Dear God feat Monsters of Folk
Things are going so fast. Yet not fast enough. Isn’t that why we keep checking in x-times per day. But if social delivered on our relentless impatience and expectation, the road kill would pile up.
That roadkill would be us. Or the people we know. Or the people we see in our world, on the street, at the coffee shop, or – just around.
That reminds me of a fantasy I have. But it could be a nightmare. I’m not sure.
The fantasy goes like this. I log in to Twitter and I get a message written across the Twitter home page:
I hit reload. A second message replaces the first message.
Your log in has been suspended for one week. You have checked-in too many times in the last 12 hours.
I hit reload. A third message replaces the second message.
Ok, I didn’t want to say it, but you haven’t tweeted anything interesting or worthwhile in 48 hours. Please get a life.
Oh – please have a nice day.
So I try to log-in to WordPress.
A chat box pops up.
Do you have something interesting to write, today? Yes or no?
I type, “Yes.”
Did you wash the dishes, mop the floor, and do the laundry yet?
I type, “Is that you, baby?”
No, I’m not your GF. Just answer the question, please.
I type, “Yes.”
What are you going to write about, today?
I type, “Life”
Life and Social Media?
No. Just life.
I’m sorry that is not interesting. Come back when you have something that is really compelling.
Wait, I have a video. It has almost 11 million views. It choked me up. I cried. OMG! This is emotional porn!
Ok. You can post this time. But if you don’t increase post reads by 3 percent with this post, your login will be suspended for one month.
So here I am. Phew! And here’s the video.
Opera meets pop when 17-year-old Jonathan and 16-year-old Charlotte sing together on the British talent show, Britian’s Got Talent. When the judges and audience see Jonathan, most of them only see a fat, unattractive loser.
The disgust and contempt for Jonathan is raw and obvious from the beginning of the video.
The fantasy doesn’t end here, however.
Unfortunately, no one shares this blog post on Twitter, Facebook or Google Plus. No one links to it from their blog post. No one subscribes. Reads drop by 2 percent. I can’t login to WordPress for a month and I actually write two more chapters of my science fiction novel.
20 April 2012
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