College, Parents, Money and Kids: #Dadchat RECAP

WHO KNEW that college could be so traumatic – to parents!

This #DadChat RECAP also appeared last week on Bruce Sallan’s blog.

How do parents pay for a kid (or more) to go to college when a four year degree costs as much as a house? As it is, one in three American families is financially challenged by rent or mortgage.

Will the kids get an education that provides life-long competitive advantages or just literacy and a long term debt load on student loans? The world is amidst great change – whole economies too.

What happens if your kid drops out? Or, yikes, what if your kid doesn’t want to go to college. It might work out for little Bobby or Sue, but can you live with that as a parent? Without an ulcer?

Bob Dylan, The times they are a changin

Double-Header #DadChat and #CollegeCash

That’s what parents chatted about on this week’s double header for #DadChat and #CollegeCash. Bruce Sallan and Jody Okun of College Financial Aid Advisors (Southern California) led the daring foray into a subject that runs high on emotion and, ugh, deep into everybody’s pockets, hearts, and worries.

The Double-header #DadChat and #CollegeCash transcript starts here:

Special Guests

Ellen Bremen (@ChattyProf on Twitter), author of Say This, NOT That to Your Professor

Peg Fitzpatrick (@pegfitzpatrick), partner at @12 Most – the greatest list website of them all

Kenna Griffin (@profkrg), journalism school professor

Christopher Lewis (@DrCLewis), author of The Ultimate College Preparation Handbook

Joe Brazier (@ManvDadhood), a real-life super hero and special education teacher

And many more rockstars – too many for me to link and name individually!

Wisdom of the Crowd

The tweets listed below only represent a fraction of the chat and participants. See the transcript for the complete record of the chat.

How do parents pay (or help pay) for a kid (or more) to go to college?

@BruceSallan: Start saving now…

@JodiOkun: There is hope for parents applying for financial aid.

@AidScholarship: There is no way my son could have gone to his dream school without winning scholarship money

@JodiOkun: It is important for families to start conversations early so students understand the financial family picture

@MimiBakerMN: We started [saving] before they even got to high school.

@LovelyLu: We just found out that we didn’t qualify for our college loan because we co-signed oldest’s law school loan

@SteveCassady: …start the activities to help get some types of aid : Community Service, Activities, Grades, etc

@AidScholarship: @BruceSallan Your son can STILL apply for scholarships all through college

@MukayJacked: Already started a college fund for my daughter and she is only 2. Need to start as soon as possible now.

@Milaspage: Guidance Counselors are great sources for this kind of information#scholarships

@JodiOkun: so many scholarships free sites like @zinch or you can google the topic you want to apply for

@ChattyProf: Profs get lots of scholarship alerts throughout the year. Then we share. Students need 2 watch

@azmomofmanyhats: Our daughter did all of the scholarship hunting on her own. After she got accepted, she found additional funds at the school.

@MunkayJacked: I’ve also heard many kids signing up to the military to get a college degree.

@Faryna: Common third world strategy to get full scholarships to American schools: acing the SATs, GREs, etc.

@profkrg: I’m amazed at how many students don’t take the time to apply for awards/scholarships I tell them about.

Will the kids get an education and a job or a whole lotta student loan debt?

@Faryna: What is the purpose of college? Is college about unlocking human potential? Making leaders?

@hashtracking: … meet people and make friends!

@BruceSallan: College was about finding myself…

@BruceSallan: OVER 80% of graduates come back home to live!

@Faryna: Do you believe the education only has deep value if it correlates clearly to a professional career and employment?

@DrCLewis: 4 year degrees are a way to grow and learn about yourself

@MunkayJacked: Today with technology and things changing so much many degrees received 10 years ago are redundant now

@aDadsPov: Are they teaching ANY critical thinking at college today? Just asking?

@DrCLewis: What are the things that your kids are looking at most when looking for a college?

@DrCLewis: I would hope that parents would allow their children to make the best decision with their guidance

@DaddysinCharge: Will there be jobs for our kids after this HUGE expense?

What happens if your kid drops out? Or doesn’t want to go to college?

@manvDadhood: #Education is great, but is #College the best place? Not for every child!

@MunkayJacked: Seen many kids drop out because of the partying.

@DrCLewis: [Students] have to learn how to balance extracurricular activities with the academic learning u are there for

@sharongreenthal: responsibility for one’s actions is learning process in college. partying can be managed.

@aDadsPov: 18 year old’s don’t have fully developed brains! Especially the boys!

@aDadsPov: For that matter, my wife says mine (brain) is still NOT developed!

@fionaannv: Daughter went to dream school and failed.

@Faryna: What compares to college and college life in terms of unlocking human potential and self-understanding?

@aDadsPov: not joking, but REAL LIFE teaches a lot as well!

@CollegeCashMan: I have to agree, Navy helped me prep for college

@Faryna Is it wrong for your adult children to struggle and fight (a little) for their future?

@aDadsPov: struggle and failure are better teachers than success and having it easy!

@DrCLewis: Too true… you have to fail to succeed in many cases

@DaddsinCharge: I used my degree in my job, but I didn’t NEED it.

@BruceSallan: OK, let’s talk about the fact that NOT every kid needs to go to college!

@triplethedad: some kids much better off starting a biz or working than dropping out after a year or two

@Faryna: Where is human potential unlocked as predictably as it is at college?

@collegevisit: And not every kid needs to go to college at 18. For some better to wait.

@HorseMarkCards: My son left in Jr yr to pursue own business..hurt at first,but it was great idea

@Faryna: My wind down thought: Few things unlock human potential like Love, Courage, Justice, Fortitude, and Good Judgment. True education, in a college or out there in the world, must nurture these virtues above all else.

@BruceSallan: Next time a three-way of #MediaChat, #DadChat and #CollegeCash

Related Blog Posts:

12 Most Educational Lessons for Kids Going Off to College by Bruce Sallan

My Boys Would be Better Off If I Abandoned Them by Bruce Sallan

12 Most Tender Ways to Connect With Your College Student by Monica Matthews

The Value of Education by @Faryna by Christian Hollingsworth (interview)

C. S. Lewis on American Public Education by Jordan J. Ballor

Related Books:

Say This, NOT That to Your Professor by Ellen Bremen

The Ultimate College Preparation Handbook by Dr. Christopher Lewis

Democracy and Education by John Dewey

The Intellectual Life: Its Spirit, Conditions, Methods by A.G. Sertillanges

How To Read A Book by Mortimer J. Adler and Charles Van Doren

Never miss a #DadChat again! Subscribe to Bruce Sallan’s weekly update on the homepage:


Stan Faryna

An American living in Bucharest, Romania, Stan Faryna searches for better questions about who we are, what we’re doing, and how we shall better know ourselves and love others. He hopes for answers that fill the heart, lift it up, and substantiate the dignity of the human person.

Stan’s Unofficial Blog
Twitter: @Faryna
Faryna on Facebook
Soundcloud: Podcasts


6 Responses to College, Parents, Money and Kids: #Dadchat RECAP

  1. sandra305 says:

    A very timely post as grandparents helping four grandchildren with their college expenses!

  2. I hold a different view.
    There is a website you should mention Stan:

    He holds some great ideas about going to college and how to save money doing it. Read this article he posted recently and ponder:

    I for the most part think that we need an entrepreneurial approach to the idea of an education. Too many kids, bust the bank, and then don’t go and do anything with the education.

    I am not a fan of high cost degree’s at name institutions or other. You still need to understand that you can’t get there (where you want to be) from college. It always takes something more.

    Now some people have a life dream of an education based upon prior conditions in their life or family. Good and great for them.

    My view is college costs too much no matter what the motive. If your gonna go, use the ideas of the millionare nurse, or don’t go.

    • Stan Faryna says:

      It’s a reasonable POV, Billy.

      Lifestyles will adjust – not by choice but necessity shall spare fewer and fewer.

Speak from your heart!

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