Who needs you, anyway! Thoughts about Rejection

Thoughts about Rejection

by Stan Faryna

Stan Faryna

Avicii, Wake Me Up
As I try to wrap my mind around the meaning of rejection, I have to consider that the consequence of it is nothing less than the inability or disability to receive or give love. In other words, if your experience of love is inadequate (rejection), you cannot love fully or in a healthy way.That means rejection is not just a personal problem; it is a viral problem.
Social Media
No where is the sweep of rejection more present to us than in Social Media. The sweep of the pain, sadness and anger of rejection extends beyond our gaze and imagination, and the depth of the wounds, we may never guess.
Poverty, disability, disease, parental neglect, divorce, infidelity, betrayal, abuse and exploitation, violence, prejudice, public humiliation, failure, and inaccessible education are among the causes that alienate us. And so wounded, we in turn reject, mistrust and, perhaps, wound others. And we will pursue loveless paths of shame, brokenness and despair.
Suicide, Depression and Anxiety
The catastrophic power of rejection cannot be ignored. Suicide, depression and anxiety are on the increase – not to mention the secret wish for death which too many hold like a prayer in their hearts.
Mary’s Song
What is the solution to rejection?Mary’s response to the news brought by an angel comes to mind::
And Mary said:
“My soul glorifies the Lord
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has been mindful
of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
holy is his name…”
Luke 1:46-49

Mary’s song comes to mind right now because what happened to her is what we want and need – the fullness of acceptance and approval, love, and responsibility.

Love and Responsibility

Responsibility may seem out of place in the sentimental context, but then I consider that without responsibility, acceptance, approval and love is not complete. Without responsibility, I do not belong, I am not useful, I am not needed, and I am not a part of something bigger and better than me.

Without love and responsibility, we tremble before the ultimate, existential rejection of you, me and everyone.

Stan Faryna
7 February 2014
Fairfax, Virginia



Google Plus


6 Responses to Who needs you, anyway! Thoughts about Rejection

  1. John Magnet Bell says:

    I can tell you wrote from the heart, Stan. This post moved me a lot. It’s not just that you have lovely turns of phrase here — also, you do more than play word games. Bits like “loveless paths of shame” resonate with me. I come from a dysfunctional family background where shame, guilt, confusion and mistrust abound. But I found acceptance outside my family of origin. And acceptance heals if you open yourself to it. Acceptance must be reciprocal for the healing to take place.

  2. John Magnet Bell says:

    And I’d like to share some music with you while I’m at it. To me Eastern Orthodox music speaks of deep acceptance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6mMxyLYMlM

  3. Stan Faryna says:


    Knowing how you are not one to give compliments without merit, your compliment is especially dear to me.

    And beyond the compliment, you bring the lynchpin to the subject. Indeed, we must accept and admire that and/or whom from which we receive acceptance – or it counts for little (or nothing).

  4. Sending love your way:) Cheers! Kaarina

  5. TheJackB says:

    We are listening.

Speak from your heart!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: