How do you nourish a spirit of giving in your kids?
If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain; If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin Up to his nest again, I shall not live in vain.
– Emily Dickinson
Make yourself necessary to somebody.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Everybody can be great. Because anybody can serve.
– Martin Luther King, Jr.
When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her.
It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed.
– Mother Teresa
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How do we teach our kids to give?!
This was the big question on @BruceSallan’s DadChat with Ted Rubin (@TedRubin), Anne Geddes (@annegeddestweet) and all of the DadChat women, friends and fans.
This special DadChat was dedicated to helping raise funds for shot@life (@ShotAtLife), a movement to protect children worldwide by providing life-saving vaccines where they are most needed. Over $1,400 was raised for Shot@Life in the online DadChat auctions and even more was made in direct donations – all in ONE HOUR!
Note: This #DadChat RECAP appeared last week on Bruce Sallan’s blog.
Ted Rubin
Ted Rubin is a daddy, social marketing strategist, and CMO that emphasizes ROR, Return on Relationship. Bruce says that he is the most followed CMO on Twitter! Ted’s website is here.
Anne Geddes
Anne Geddes is a world-class photographer known for her award-winning photographs of babies, flowers, and pregnant moms. Her photos are icons that celebrate birth, life, and joy. Her website is here.
Shot@Life
Shot@Life educates, connects and empowers Americans to champion vaccines as one of the most cost-effective ways to save children’s lives in developing countries. Give here.
That’s what effective communication is all about, right?
The only way to solve our problems is to work together with others (family, friends, colleagues, and, sometimes, strangers). Little problems or big. That’s how it is. We have to build consensus about the facts and the goals. We have to make decisions about the best use of commonly accepted facts and resources. In other words, the bottom line is effective communication. Without it, we ain’t getting anywhere.
Not you. Not me. No one.
Note: This #DadChat RECAP appeared last week on Bruce Sallan’s blog.
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Simon & Garfunkel, Bridge Over Troubled Water
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That’s what people were talking about in Bruce Sallan’s DadChat with Professor Ellen Bremen (@chattyprof) and Christian Hollingsworth (@SmartBoyDesigns). Here’s the three big questions that the awesome people of DadChat considered:
What is effective communication?
How do we get on the same page?
What gets in the way of us hearing what each other has to say?
An American living in Bucharest, Romania, Stan Faryna searches for better questions about who we are, what we’re doing, and how we shall better know ourselves and love others. He hopes for answers that fill the heart, lift it up, and substantiate the dignity of the human person.
“The way to gain traction on Google+ is to search for the keywords that describe your passions and then interact with those folks.”
That’s what Guy Kawasaki is saying. Why is he saying that?! What does Guy know that we don’t?
Note: This #DadChat RECAP appeared last week on Bruce Sallan’s blog.
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Is G+ misunderstood?
Is G+ enchanting?
If not now, how can it be?
Enquiring minds want to know!
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The Beatles, The Yellow Submarine
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Who is Guy Kawasaki?
Haters say Guy is the Grand Inquisitor of the new Googledom. Nevermind the haters!
Guy is the greatest of all the old school Apple fanboys. He’s the prime evangelist, a venture capitalist, an author, and the genius that conceived of AllTop before social media knew they had a need for information and news aggregation.
Google didn’t pay him to write the book, Guy explained on #dadchat – the Thursday night tweetchat hosted by Bruce Sallan.
Guy says he’s slaying the dragons (G+ hate and disinterest) for the love of it. Because it’s the best tool right now says Guy. He even wrote a book about Google +: What the Plus!
What the Plus! is also Guy’s first ebook.
You can download the free PDF of Guy Kawasaki’s first version of What the Plus! here:
Unfortunately, social games have thus far failed on G+.
Addendum
People aren’t connected on G+ like they are on Facebook or Twitter. Twitter would do better with a social game integration than Google Plus. Maybe that’s one of the challenges that G+ has to overcome: make the quality and relevance of the connection between G+ users.
I’d like to see more creative license in the profile space. It’s like what Facebook does.
Oh – what Facebook does has nothing to do with good design.
Addendum
Ultimately, Google + didn’t up the quality of the social media experience – it didn’t revolutionize the social platform standard. They have the brain power and resources to do that. Why aren’t they doing it?
An American living in Bucharest, Romania, Stan Faryna searches for better questions about who we are, what we’re doing, and how we shall better know ourselves and love others. He hopes for answers that fill the heart, lift it up, and substantiate the dignity of the human person.
That ain’t in the Bible! But there’s several equivalents in the Old Testament – most of them in Proverbs. Here’s one example of such:
He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently).Proverbs 13:24
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Note: This #DadChat RECAP appeared last week on Bruce Sallan’s blog.
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Are parents spoiling their kids?
Are you? Am I?
That’s what Bruce Sallan (@BruceSallan on Twitter) is asking. He asks himself in last week’s weekly column, Entitled. Last Thursday, Bruce and co-hosts Charlie (@HowToBeADad) AND Andy (@betadad) asked the big questions at #Dadchat.
How do parents pay for a kid (or more) to go to college when a four year degree costs as much as a house? As it is, one in three American families is financially challenged by rent or mortgage.
Will the kids get an education that provides life-long competitive advantages or just literacy and a long term debt load on student loans? The world is amidst great change – whole economies too.
What happens if your kid drops out? Or, yikes, what if your kid doesn’t want to go to college. It might work out for little Bobby or Sue, but can you live with that as a parent? Without an ulcer?
If you follow Gini Dietrich, Bill Dorman or Bruce Sallan, you’ll understand everything that I have to say here. Because there’s no better lesson than the lesson you’ve seen lived out by the people you know. IRL or social.
Like IRL, social is something you have to live – automation, enthusiasm, and/or drama does not deliver consistent and sustainable results. Nor value.
It should go without saying. That there is no difference between IRL or social when it comes to making friends and becoming influential. It just is. Until we are replaced by robots. That’s why Klout, Kred, and Empire Avenue can’t help you.
Garl Gustav Jung may have described a man’s soul in feminine-like terms. And a woman’s soul in masculine-like terms.
That said, let it be known that I have a good relationship with my inner, sexy, blonde. She’s a sex bomb. And a princess!
For example, I turn up the volume on my lap top and let the music play.
It starts with a little Haddaway:
No laughing please. That includes you, Betsy.
After I have skipped around the apartment in my underwear, lifted my arms high, let my hair swing, and spun around a few times to Haddaway, I throw Seal up on the wide screen.
Seal is so sexy! And Heidi, OMG!
I hold my lighter lit until my thumb has second degree burns. But I keep holding it lit. I don’t let the light die. Not me.
Then, I grab a pillow and bop the white chow chow on the head as Cyndi Lauper tells it like it is.
The white chow chow scurries to hide under the dinner table.
Did I hear a giggle? Don’t! Period.
I hop and skip to the bathroom, light a dozen mango-scented candles, dump two pounds of rose-scented salt into the jacuzzi tub and let the tub to fill.
By this point, Seal is back again on the wide screen. Because I feel amazing!
I’m back in the bathroom, swinging my shoulders to the beat of Seal’s song as I rub Kiehl’s Pineapple Papaya Facial Scrub in tiny circles across my forehead, around my eyes and lips, and under my chin.
Rose fragrance fills the room as the water froths and bubbles. I close my eyes and imagine standing in the Bulgarian valley of the roses in the last week of May. Kilometers (miles) of pink Dasmascus roses about to bloom.
I step slowly in the hot water and then slide into the tub.
The world falls away. In the distance, I hear Enya’s Orinoco Flow.
I see the waves break against the bow. The sails flap and the boom throws starboard. I lean out over the moving water as the sunfish lifts and dances across the emerald ocean waves.
The sun sparkles across the water like the smile of God.
Eyes still closed, I reach over, unwrap a Mon Cheri, and touch it to my lips. I place it between my teeth and bite gently, enjoying chocolate, sweet liquor, and cherry in their separate flavors.
Vangelis’ Last Mohican comes on.
I kick up some water.
I shout out to my love:
You stay alive, no matter what occurs! I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you.
I throw a bar of rose soap at a bottle of Yes-to-carrots shampoo. The enemy falls from the ridge to their death.
Rob suggests that the indiscriminate emphasis on networking is foolish.
My comment:
There is something amazing about connecting with other human beings. It’s uplifting. Our hearts and minds are often enlarged in the engagement. We discover ourselves through others. We discover others. The world!
If we are fortunate, we see the gift that the other is for us. And also fortunate – if they see the gift that we are to them.
Do to others as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:31
Regardless of the event, platform, or attendance, what really counts is your attitude, where your heart is, and your commitment to love, give, and shine.
Curate people (not content), connect others with each other, and unleash the dreams and beauty of others to shine out in this world!
Thanks Lilach and Rob for the inspiration! … Subscribe to Lilach Bullock’s blog.
Need more Lilach Bullock? Check out the following:
Billy is not the only one excited about Youtube. RWW hails YouTube as a change agent for global economic transformation.
Asks Billy:
This year I have read that Blogging is going to be taken over by video. Could this be true?
My short answer: No.
My comment:
Let’s get some things straight.
1. I like Billy.
I think Billy writes beautifully. Often, he lifts the curtain for us to see the fool behind it. And, sometimes, it is us. Last but not least, Billy shares with his head, hands, and heart.
I especially like his recent blog posts about the sinking ship, his hand me down iPhone 3GS, and breaking the egg in social media.
2. Billy is right! He’s right that if you want to speak to the world, you’ll have to do it in a way that’s easy to consume. And video is perfect.
a. The proliferation of crappy and copyright infringed video and music will suck more than the proliferation of crappy writing and copyright infringed copy.
b. And most people will be ok with that. [laughing]
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Billy is right on. If you want to engage people beyond your core service or business and direct interaction, video is as good as crack.
As I mentioned in a recent discussion on #kiwkchat, video is the obvious win-win if…
1. If you can afford to do it right 2. If it can be done to the level of your brand 3. If it can be done to the level of your customer’s expectations of your services/product/offer
I have had the opportunity to direct video production, serve as a creative director on video story production, write scripts and stories, and assist in the recording of voices, music, and sound. Without any formal education, training, or certification! But with some help from young professionals who knew a few things – but not all things.
Sometimes, it turned out ok-ish.
Ok-ish isn’t cheap. It was cheaper, of course, than going to a professional film maker slash advertising production company.
$15,000 for something ok-ish. I saved about $10,000 each time. I was thrilled about the savings for our self-promo work. And so were my clients when it was client work.
Did I mention that I already had a team of salaried graphic designers, illustrators and fine artists, and audio engineers for the software development that I was doing? Not to mention that I paid for professional consulting at “friendly” rates.
OK, yes, the proliferation of amateur and bad video has diminished our sensibilities and prolly we can get away with okish things easily for $10,000 a pop. And I know plenty of professionals that are ready to work with me on client work. These days, they’ll do a gig for about $15,000.
The Youtube platform also reduces these costs because if we are only talking about YouTube quality: the quality of picture and sound don’t require all of the art, technology, and skill that goes into something being presented well on a 50-inch or wider screen with 5.1 surround sound.
I am not a professional videographer. Nor am I a professional film maker. I’m all about the online thing and, yes, it is also true that everything happens online. Anyway, I do have friends that serve Hollywood and the like. And they don’t think I’m talking out of my ass.
Aside:
How come no one ever wonders how a nobody like me got background vocals from Robert Pattinson, the male lead of the hit movie Twilight, for my podcast, Do not be afraid?
So, let’s say you find someone who agrees to make you 12 videos/year for $84,000. For something ok-ish. If your market is 10s of millions (or more) of customers, it would be stupid not to do it. Or if you want to market to 10s of millions of potential customers. OR if your revenues are 10s of millions of Dollars or Euros.
But even if that’s your situation, it’s prolly something you’ve never done, and you don’t saddle up on new expenses justlikethat [sic].
So here we are, Billy, me, the Jack B (aka Abigail), and Dr. Jack King for example and our economics aren’t in the tens of millions. Not yet. [grin]
What are we going to do?
That’s a lot of hats for one man (or woman) to wear: camera man, graphic artist, video editor, sound engineer, script writer, creative director, producer, and director. And, honestly, I think it’s ridiculous to try to wear that many hats, myself. They just don’t sit well (or topple) on the crown.
What are we going to do?!
Collaboration is the only right answer.
What can you do for the professional videography team? Something that makes it worth it to his/her team to do things with you?
Sometimes we’re looking so hard for a competitive edge… that we will champion a vorpal sword that will, snicker snack, and cut our hands off.
Or toes.
Perhaps, that explains my silly walk.
Oh- below is an unfinished video that I worked on last year. It has a long, long way to go yet.
The Elephant Grandmaster would stomp the emissaries’ balls if she got wind of the incident.
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Luciano Pavarotti, Placido Domingo, Jose Carreras, Nessun Dorma
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My humble contribution:
“Jiggerface, yeah, how’d he get a face like that?”
I know she was wondering that too. Maybe, it was the new crocodile which wasn’t so new since the new crocodile had been around for at least a nickel’s worth of years.
“Just kill him, bring me his beady face and fat head, and you can have the chick or the car,” she replied and stomped her heavy foot.
“I want both,” I told her as I tossed her a peanut.
The salty peanut distracted her.
“We’ll talk about it,” she said as she swallowed the peanut.
“It savors if you chew,” I suggested. Then, I made a gesture as if about to toss her the brown bag of peanuts.
“Ok-ok-ok. Chick and car. Just do it,” she gasped.
I tossed it to her. She put her face in the bag.
“You know, the peanuts are free at Five Guys,” I laughed. But she was too busy stuffing her face to hear my contempt. … Subscribe to JM Bell’s blog, Start Your Novel.
If you think that this blog post sucks, let me know in your comment and don’t forget to include a link to YOUR favorite blog post.
If you think this blog post rocks, tell me why it rocks in the comment. “Awesome,””Great post,” etc. works for me. Don’t forget to include a link to YOUR most recent blog post.
Subscribe to this blog if you would enjoy keeping up with my thoughts and commentary.
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Stan Faryna
03 February 2012
Bucharest, Romania
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P.S.
No fairies were harmed during the writing and publishing of this blog post.
Blog Soup 2011.11.18 What are you doing online? Why?
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What are you doing with your life? What are you doing online? What is your purpose? What is your function? Why?
You don’t know? Have you considered the advice of the Duchess to Alice (Alice of Wonderland)?
Be what you would seem to be — or, if you’d like it put more simply — Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.
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About Blog Soup
I read a lot of blogs. Maybe, too many. I comment on a lot of blog posts. Maybe, too many. If you are a Triberrati, you do too.
A Triberrati is a blogger that stands out in the Triberr community. Triberr is a web app that connects bloggers and helps them to curate each other on Twitter. You can learn all about Triberr by reading any of the following posts about it.
I intend to write pithy, poignant comments that may help you truly rediscover yourself through the blog posts of friends and strangers. In terms of your journey of self discovery, the destinations are not as important as is your own personal negotiation of the questions, answers, and confusions which you may discover by following a link, reading a blog post, poring over comments, and making a comment. On the other hand, this is our community and, yes, community is all about our commitment to the community, conversations, consensus, disagreement, participation, and, yes, to each other.
I will fail often in this endeavor, but I can, as Booker T. Washington said, keep on keeping on. Will you humor me?
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Gary Portnoy, Where everybody knows your name (Cheers theme song)
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2011.11.18
Caterpillar:
Who are YOU?
Alice:
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. I — I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.
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Featured
The blog posts that I commented on in this Blog Soup:
Bill Dorman has been wondering what happened to the party. Where did everyone go? Was it the speedos? Or skype? Of course, this is Bill being tongue in cheek and charming.
My comment:
It’s not the Skype, Bill. It’s not the speedos. You’re a stand up guy. You’re likable. You’re sexy. Oops! There’s that word again.
Everybody wants you at their party. And I’m not teasing you, Bill.
The problems are several. And I know you’ve been waiting for me to sum it up. After all, that’s what I do. I go deep and think it through because I can. [grin] Of course, I can try to dish it out with my own tongue in cheek. But I’ll never do it with your finesse, Bill.
5. High School Prejudice
Some people lack the professional culture to deal with people they don’t like. In other words, they haven’t graduated from high school. So if they see someone they don’t like hanging out at your place, they may stop coming by.
It’s their loss, Bill. I continue to contribute at several watering holes despite the frauds, fucktards, and stupid clowns that frequent the same.
4. Faking it is no fun
Most people just can’t fake it forever. They need to get off. [grin]
Being positive, encouraging, and kindly when your trudging through the bull shit can try anyone’s patience. Some do it day in and out without any hard evidence of tomorrow’s reward and they will pick up their toys and head home – sooner or later.
3. This Ain’t Easy Street
It just doesn’t work. Not you, Bill! Blogging!!! It’s not the game changer they hoped it would be. Because it ain’t easy. It takes work. Not everyone can succeed. And there’s no guarantees for success even for those that show promise. Granted, it takes the average Joe or Jane three to six months to figure that out.
2. Boot Lickers and Suck Ups
It’s not obvious that you’re in the in crowd. Are you best buddies with 12 B-list bloggers and a minimum of three A-list bloggers?
Do they mention you, give you props, and throw you a link in their blog posts from time to time?
People need a reason to suck up and lick boot.
1. Where’s the Money?
You don’t have a weekly “how to” on how someone can easily move and improve it by an inch.
Bill, they need to pay bills. They have the need to succeed.
You keep doing what you are doing. Lift your allies with you as you level up. Give it three years and you’ll be an online authority. Perhaps, a sensation! Mark my words, Bill. …
Reading the statement, “I rock. I will succeed because I rock hard,” one hundred times will not make you successful. Thinking that statement one hundred times won’t do it. Writing that statement one hundred times won’t do it either. Because that’s not how magic and fairy tales work.
Magic comes from killing dragons, demons, and all the things that own you through fear. Fairy tales are the stories of fears faced and conquered, virtues exercised in decision and action, and the triumph of the hero, heroine, or saint.
Don’t just do it. And don’t just do something. Do good, do it often, and do it well.
It just happens that I have some thoughts to share.
I am personally acquainted with dozens of millionaires and former millionaires. A handful inherited their wealth. Most of them made their wealth by mostly illegal means. Only a handful of these acquaintances made their wealth by strictly legal, honest, good decisions, and hard work. Most of the latter have lost their wealth.
Having spent considerable time and intimate conversation with such persons, I can tell you that their successes had little to do with asking themselves questions, being positive, and doing the right thing. The most common answer, being in the right place at the right time, is a euphemism.
A euphemism is a substitution of an inoffensive term for one considered offensively explicit and scandalous.
Few are driven simply by greed, a will to power, and a want to make the world around them – their empire. Most are fueled by fear, hatred, and contempt, they do unspeakable things, they lack conscience, and they don’t get caught. They prey upon the weak, the weak-minded, and the poor of spirit (the cowardly) at every opportunity. They do not create wealth by being fair, generous, or conscientious. Nor do they keep wealth by such means.
I wish I could share an example with you of how wealth is hoarded and carved out of the souls and chests of lesser men. But anyone of them reading it would be so offended that I would rise to a top spot on their shit list. And that would be especially stupid to promote myself into the cross hairs. [grin]
So I leave it to your imagination to fill in the details.
… no matter what little thing you do, you can still inspire and help others.
My comment:
As the troubles of this world grow, ever greater is our yearning for the things that fuel hope. Inspire, encourage, and lift others up.
Because at the end of the day (be it six months or twelve years), when you look back on what you did online, if you inspired, encouraged and lifted others up, you will know you did something that reflects the beautiful, the good, and the true.
And that may be worth more than the million dollars that never found its way into your bank account.
And then there’s Lisa Gerber who has some insights to share about fundraising. Indeed, the Crowdwise motto is even something to consider beyond fundraising. It applies perfectly to social media.
If you didn’t give back no one will like you.
And writing that, immediately I thought of Professor Michael Schlesinger from the Atmospheric Sciences School at the University of Illinois at Urbana. He recently edited an important book on climate change and alarming estimates of the expected impacts which will devastate communities and regions, Human-Induced Climate Change.
These words describe in exact sequence the way to create your ideal life using the law of attraction…
My comment:
One of the problems that I often observe about those who recommend the law of attraction is the lack of true and unembarrassed commitment to the thing as truth. In other words, people talk about it but they don’t demonstrate it. And if it is a truth, it must be demonstrable. Just as demonstrable as pain or hurt.
I propose that 12 of us make a demonstration. Each of us make a blog post, name the thing of our desires, ask for it, release it, believe it, and receive it within three months. It should be something that is out of our natural and ordinary reach, capacity, and competence. I further propose that Marcus lead us in this spiritual demonstration, guide us in the release, and finally, tabulate, announce, and analyze the results.
Count me in on this. Who else is ready to receive!
Do you ever stop to think about why you do what you do?
Janet shares one of her favorite quotes from Katharin Graham:
To love what you do and to feel that it matters–how could anything be more fun?
What I didn’t write:
Writes @TheJackB:
One of the reasons I am a frequent visitor to your blog is because I like surrounding myself with happy people. You always have such positive energy it is hard not to smile.
Jack’s comment took me by surprise. And I’m still grinning. Or was that scratching my head?
Anyway, I often wonder if bloggers love what they are doing. For example, I hope Margie Clayman loves what she’s doing. Because I love what she’s doing. Have you seen her last blog post, Help Me Help Guatemala?
In a country where half the population survive on less than $2 a day, you don’t have to go far to find poverty. Generally it’s already looking for you.
My comment:
The story of Judy and Ed is heart warming. Thank you for sharing that awesome story with us, Janet.
If only we were all so blessed with an opportunity to sell things that we believe in with the deepest personal conviction!
Myself, there are few things for which I can rave about. And not all of those few for good reason.
Anyway, here’s five:
1. Dr. Bronner’s Magical Peppermint Soap 2. The New American Bible 3. Harrod’s Earl Grey Tea No. 42 (I’m enjoying a mug of it as I type) 4. Certified Kona Coffee Beans (lightly roasted) 5. William Shakespeare’s Collected Works
My own doubts, however, can not compete with my hope that Judy and Ed will live long, happy, and love-strong lives with the least pain possible.
Considering again my doubts, I have to smile because I remember what Betsy Cross writes here:
I want to earn enough to support my family. I tell my children that they need to push to live their dreams and not dream their lives. I can do no less.
My comment:
I like what Jack is saying.
I am trying. I am pushing. I am asking for help. It is not easy for me. I don’t like doing it and I am not sure that I am asking the right questions but I am doing my best.
That’s what any of us can do, Jack. Own it. Do. Push. Ask for help. Keep moving. Just like Danny recently did. He moved on to Jugnoo, don’t you know! In fact, a good move. Corporate clients for social media seem to be drying up.
Keep on keeping on, Jack.
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Feedback
If you think that this blog post sucks, let me know in your comment and don’t forget to include a link to YOUR favorite blog post.
If you think this blog post rocks, tell me why it rocks in the comment. “Awesome,””Great post,” etc. works for me. Don’t forget to include a link to YOUR most recent blog post.
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Stan Faryna
18 November 2011
Bucharest, Romania
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P.S. Help me to do something beautiful! Clickhere.
Often, I do not spell out the social media lesson. I treat my blog posts that do illuminate social media DOHs as parables. The parable here is especially elusive and I allow it to remain so. Because we must accustom ourselves to the reality that the heart will know things long before the mind can comprehend.
Some of you may know that I have recently made several comments on Bruce Sallan’s blog post, The Value of Money and Occupy Wall Street, and to the comments there. However, the most important of those comments, perhaps, is the one I publish here. I understand that it reproduces poorly here out of context – at least at it’s start. Because I begin my comment by addressing a comment that attempts to analyze the OWS movement according to Martin Luther King, Jr.’s philosophy on civil disobedience and non-violent protest.
At the end of my long comment, I answer the question, what is Occupy Wall Street about.
I may be wrong. And I may be mistaken about many things. It is my intuitional opinion and it being an opinion and an intuition, it is neither necessarily right, wrong, worthwhile, nor useless. It just is.
You be the judge of whether or not my opinion speaks loudly to your heart or not. Because you alone are responsible for what you accept into your heart as a compelling instance of the beautiful, the good, and the true.
RT @lookner: Did on-scene commander really conclude no kids were at risk, or did he maybe think it was better for surviving kids to not try… 4 weeks ago