Recap: @TedRubin @annegeddestweet and more on giving at @BruceSallan’s #dadchat

June 12, 2012

How do you nourish a spirit of giving in your kids?

If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain; If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin Up to his nest again, I shall not live in vain.

– Emily Dickinson

Make yourself necessary to somebody.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Everybody can be great. Because anybody can serve.

– Martin Luther King, Jr.

When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her.

It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed.

– Mother Teresa

How do we teach our kids to give?!

This was the big question on @BruceSallan’s DadChat with Ted Rubin (@TedRubin), Anne Geddes (@annegeddestweet) and all of the DadChat women, friends and fans.

This special DadChat was dedicated to helping raise funds for shot@life (@ShotAtLife), a movement to protect children worldwide by providing life-saving vaccines where they are most needed. Over $1,400 was raised for Shot@Life in the online DadChat auctions and even more was made in direct donations – all in ONE HOUR!

Note: This #DadChat RECAP appeared last week on Bruce Sallan’s blog.

Ted Rubin

Ted Rubin is a daddy, social marketing strategist, and CMO that emphasizes ROR, Return on Relationship. Bruce says that he is the most followed CMO on Twitter! Ted’s website is here.

Anne Geddes

Anne Geddes is a world-class photographer known for her award-winning photographs of babies, flowers, and pregnant moms. Her photos are icons that celebrate birth, life, and joy.  Her website is here.

Shot@Life

Shot@Life educates, connects and empowers Americans to champion vaccines as one of the most cost-effective ways to save children’s lives in developing countries. Give here.

The Auction

1. Hotel and airfare for two to Los Vegas

Donated by Holly Pavlika (@HollyPavlika)

Winning bid by @TedRubin.

2. 2GB iPod Shuffle #2

Winning bid by @LovelyLu

3. 2GB iPod Shuffle #1 and an autographed, limited-edition book by Anne Geddes

Winning bid by @JPLoveCotton

4. Autographed, limited edition book by Anne Geddes

Winning bid by @Bruce Sallan

The transcript for this #dadchat is here:

http://beta.hashtracking.com/ht-pro-rpt/cjeffers-dadchat-2012-05-31

Join the fun! Log-in to #dadchat every Thursday night at 6pm PST: http://www.tweetchat.com/room/dadchat

Snips and Bites From the Dadchat

The tweets listed below only represent a fraction of the chat and participants. See the transcript for the complete record of this epic chat.

John Lennon, Imagine

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Recap: Do you communicate or spam? @BruceSallan @SmartBoyDesigns @chattyprof #DadChat

June 4, 2012

Are you on the same page? With whom?

That’s what effective communication is all about, right? 

The only way to solve our problems is to work together with others (family, friends, colleagues, and, sometimes, strangers). Little problems or big. That’s how it is. We have to build consensus about the facts and the goals. We have to make decisions about the best use of commonly accepted facts and resources. In other words, the bottom line is effective communication. Without it, we ain’t getting anywhere.

Not you. Not me. No one.

Note: This #DadChat RECAP appeared last week on Bruce Sallan’s blog.

Simon & Garfunkel, Bridge Over Troubled Water

That’s what people were talking about in Bruce Sallan’s DadChat with Professor Ellen Bremen (@chattyprof) and Christian Hollingsworth (@SmartBoyDesigns). Here’s the three big questions that the awesome people of DadChat considered:

What is effective communication?

How do we get on the same page?

What gets in the way of us hearing what each other has to say?

The transcript of this #dadchat is here:

http://beta.hashtracking.com/ht-pro-rpt/cjeffers-dadchat-2012-05-24/#transcript

Join the fun! Log-in to #dadchat every Thursday night at 6pm PST: http://www.tweetchat.com/room/dadchat

Snips and Bites from the #DadChat

The tweets listed below only represent a fraction of the chat and participants. See the transcript for the complete record of this mind-blowing chat.

What is effective communication?

Stan Faryna (@Faryna):

What is effective communication?

Ellen Bremen (@chattyprof):

When both sender and receiver “get it” 🙂

Angie Mozilo (@azmomofmanyhats):

Communication makes existing living.

Brad Marmo (@readbradthedad):

I was a Communications major in college, does that count?

Kenna Griffin (@profkrg):

I teach in a Mass Comm program!

Allana Prat (@allanapratt)

I think we teach what we’re meant to learn! I love intimacy- with my beloved, myself, my son, w/nature,a daily practice.

Chris (@CanadianDadBlog):

Bah! Work emergency, I have to bail tonight, sorry! I hope to catch up on the transcript later. Thanks! Have fun!

Bruce Sallan (@BruceSallan):

Anyone read the Five Languages of Love? THAT helped define things for my wife and me!

Stan Faryna (@Faryna):

Karen Horney’s The Feminine Psychology was my wake up call. That was 20+ years ago.

Greg Laycock (@GregLaycock)

It’s super hard for a single dad, but what I’ve learned is that you need to have 1-on-1 chatting time with each child, and often.

Brad Marmo (@readbradthedad):

I give single parents mad props. Can’t even imagine.

Aaron Kilby (@kilby76)

Me, me me… LOL RT @BruceSallan So, who thinks they communicate better with their kids or their spouse?

Sonya (@Sonya_LeanOnUs)

If it’s personal stuff my son always comes to me.

Christian Hollingsworth (@SmartBoyDesigns):

Rather ironic. Logged in tonight to chat about effective communication. Twitter not being so effective. All I can do is let it be.

Jack (@MunkayJacked):

I believe the best way for communication to work is when you have a thirst for knowledge. Soak up information like a sponge.

How do we get on the same page?

Christian Hollingsworth (@SmartBoyDesigns):

If you make listening and observation your occupation you will gain much more than you can by talk. – Robert Baden-Powell

Angie Mozilo (@azmomofmanyhats):

Listening is the first step in effective communication!

Bridget Heckman (@theluxcrystal)

I think when your child talks to you, listen-really listen and make eye contact.#theymatter 

Stan Faryna (@Faryna):

Great Book on Listening by Mortimer Adler > How to Speak. How to Listen 

Russell Bonchu (@squirleywrath):

I just took a boy scout training called #woodbadge, which deals a lot with active & empathetic listening, among other things

Christian Hollingsworth (@SmartBoyDesigns):

If it wasn’t for my Mom, I would be nothing. Her communication skills are superb.

Bento Leal (@empathy4life):

Empathic listening helps with my 3 adult children and 2 sons in law

Allana Prat (@allanapratt):

@faryna I like to stop talking to myself and in the silence see what arises, or just be OK not knowing and being…

Bruce Sallan (@BruceSallan):

HOW do you turn off talking to yourself?

Ellen Bremen (@chattyprof):

I teach my students about paraphrasing: Repeating what the other person says in your own words

@smartboydesigns posted about a form of listening today: Asking questions 🙂

Carolyn Nicander Mohr (@wonderoftech):

Listening tip: paraphrase what the person is saying to make sure you’re understanding the message.

Jack (@MunkayJacked):

Another tip. Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you don’t understand.

Christian Hollingsworth (@SmartBoyDesigns):

I need to hear these [listening tips]. I’m not always the best at listening.

Dr. Santhan Reddy (@drsanthan):

Paraphrasing helps to understand the facts. Try and validate the feeling too. You may be feeling _____.

Allana Prat (@allanapratt):

My son loves that I don’t multitask- I focus right on him or say hang on while I finish up- never pretend to listen

What gets in the way of us hearing what each other has to say?

Bruce Sallan (@BruceSallan):

Hmmm, the question is not OUR listening to our kids but THEY listening to US!? Don’t you think?

Allana Prat (@allanapratt):

What speaks louder than words?

Jack (@MunkayJacked):

Actions

Mimi Baker (@MimiBakerMN):

Absolutely true! RT @MunkayJacked: Actions @allanapratt: What speaks louder than words?

Ellen Bremen (@chattyprof):

So true… we pay attention to the nonverbals about 95% over the verbals.

Russell Bonchu (@squirleywrath):

Yes

Christian Hollingsworth (@SmartBoyDesigns):

I know I ALWAYS learn more from example than words.

Ellen Bremen (@chattyprof):

I remember Oprah saying about Maya Angelou that our kids respond to our reaction when they walk in a room

Dr. Santhan Reddy (@drsanthan):

True. When my 1 year old falls, she searches for my reaction, before she decides to cry

Allana Prat (@allanapratt):

I have trouble listening to when to slow down, trust, let go.

Jack (@MunkayJacked):

S/times we can’t listen cause we don’t understand what is said or hear what is being communicated. We hear facts but miss meaning

Cupcake Cuties (@CupcakeCutieKit):

Yes me too!!! @allanapratt: @brucesallan I have trouble listening to when to slow down, trust, let go.

Jack (@MunkayJacked):

Ha ha, it’s the selective hearing we all have! @CrossBetsy: My son had to move out before he admitted he heard evrything I said

Stan Faryna (@Faryna):

You’re shining @MunkayJacked! Shining bright.

Bruce Sallan (@BruceSallan):

We each have diff languages of love and learning to “speak” the others is the challenge!

Vincent Daly (@CuteMonsterDad):

A lot of the lack of communication between spouses is rooted in insecurity or fear. Easier to blame than to be vulnerable.

Allana Prat (@allanapratt):

I have a HARD time “receiving” judgment!

Randy Thio (@ideabloke):

Isn’t it funny how the act of trying to avoid an argument only fuels it further?!

Related Blog Posts

How to Communicate That You’ve Changed Your Mind by Ellen Bremen

A Dad’s Letter to His 18-Year-Old Son (Better Men Blog)

How much time do you spend commenting on blogs? by Christian Hollingsworth

Changing Your Grip by Scott Hanley

Ten Elementary Differences Between Men and Women, Part One by Bruce Sallan

The First Duty of Love is to Listen by Stan Faryna

You Are My Sunshine by Carolyn Nicander Mohr

Related Books

How to Speak. How to Listen by Mortimer Adler

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Faber and Mazlish

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That lasts by Gary Chapman

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray

Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Stan Faryna

An American living in Bucharest, Romania, Stan Faryna searches for better questions about who we are, what we’re doing, and how we shall better know ourselves and love others. He hopes for answers that fill the heart, lift it up, and substantiate the dignity of the human person.

Stan’s Unofficial Blog
Twitter: @Faryna
Faryna on Facebook


Recap: @GuyKawasaki gushes about Google + on @BruceSallan’s #dadchat

May 30, 2012

“The way to gain traction on Google+ is to search for the keywords that describe your passions and then interact with those folks.”

That’s what Guy Kawasaki is saying. Why is he saying that?! What does Guy know that we don’t?

Note: This #DadChat RECAP appeared last week on Bruce Sallan’s blog.

Is G+ misunderstood?

Is G+ enchanting?

If not now, how can it be?

Enquiring minds want to know!

The Beatles, The Yellow Submarine

Who is Guy Kawasaki?

Haters say Guy is the Grand Inquisitor of the new Googledom. Nevermind the haters!

Guy is the greatest of all the old school Apple fanboys. He’s the prime evangelist, a venture capitalist, an author, and the genius that conceived of AllTop before social media knew they had a need for information and news aggregation.

More about Guy here:

What the Plus! – Guy Kawasaki comes to #DadChat

Google didn’t pay him to write the book, Guy explained on #dadchat – the Thursday night tweetchat hosted by Bruce Sallan.

Guy says he’s slaying the dragons (G+ hate and disinterest) for the love of it. Because it’s the best tool right now says Guy. He even wrote a book about Google +: What the Plus!

What the Plus! is also Guy’s first ebook.

You can download the free PDF of Guy Kawasaki’s first version of What the Plus! here:

https://t.co/w4HsjdjP

The transcript for the #dadchat with Guy Kawasaki is here:

http://beta.hashtracking.com/ht-pro-rpt/cjeffers-dadchat-2012-05-17

Join the fun! Log-in to #dadchat every Thursday night at 6pm PST: http://www.tweetchat.com/room/dadchat

Snips and Bites From the Dadchat

The tweets listed below only represent a fraction of the chat and participants. See the transcript for the complete record of this epic chat.

G+! Big YES or little no?

Guy Kawasaki (@GuyKawasaki):

I spend 2-3 hours a day on Google+

Andrew Israel (@aspenspin):

i’ve tried to embrace Google+ but the silence is deafening…

Peggy Petzpatrick (@PegFitzpatrick):

Lots of people are using hangouts. I had a hilarious one w/ @TheDaveReynolds. It went really international.

Angela Maiers (@AngelaMaiers):

I agree. Love the instant and easy access. Hangouts are awesome!

Guy Kawasaki (@GuyKawasaki):

Google+ is just like Mac in the 80s: fewer using, better, experts say it will fail

Tim McVaigh (@BrandIdeas):

Thanks for your insights your passion is always so energizing

Guy Kawasaki (@GuyKawasaki):

It took me about a week to “get it”

Calvin Lee (@mayhemstudios):

I’m getting to old to be shocked lol

Vincent Daly (@CuteMonsterDad):

 Is G+ beta?

Guy Kawasaki (@GuyKawasaki):

The key to starting with Google+ is to search for keywords that describe your passions and then interact

Marcos Queijeiro (@marcosque):

I don’t wanna disturb the #dadchat moment but this is my interview with @GuyKawasaki Check it later 🙂 http://t.co/gqdORsMA

Mimi Baker (@MimiBakerMN):

And there are just SO many sites to learn. Seems I can only do so much with each SoMe site!

Is G+ enchanting?

Guy Kawasaki (@GuyKawasaki):

I fell in love with Google+. Google didn’t ask me to write the book. I just decided to one day.

Wendy Wright (@ChoosingLoveAZ):

I can’t seem to find people on Google+ easily

Stan Faryna (@Faryna):

Unfortunately, social games have thus far failed on G+.

Addendum

People aren’t connected on G+ like they are on Facebook or Twitter. Twitter would do better with a social game integration than Google Plus. Maybe that’s one of the challenges that G+ has to overcome: make the quality and relevance of the connection between G+ users.

Tim McVaigh (@BrandIdeas):

Google+ is twitter with elbow room gives you space to write

Guy Kawasaki (@GuyKawasaki):

Eg, if we did [#dadchat] on Google+, you’d all be watching and hearing video of me instead of trying to follow a hashtag

Patrick Phillips (@patricksplace):

The best social platform is the one where you enjoy the people your socializing with

Kenna Griffin (@profkrg):

I haven’t figured out anything I can do on G+ that I’m not doing elsewhere with the same people.

Jack (@MunkayJacked):

Google+ is seen as being for a Techie niche. That’s the reputation it has.

Guy Kawasaki (@GuyKawasaki):

Will Google+ beat Facebook: Who knows… Would you have predicted FB would trounce [MySpace] 6 years ago?

Michael Q. Todd (@mqtodd)

@hashtracking Warning @brucesallan & @guykawasaki conspiring to crash your site on #dadchat

… 

What needs to change in G+?

Guy Kawasaki (@GuyKawasaki):

What I would tell Google+: Remove the hideous black bars around pictures less than 500 pixels

Build in Replies and More (Chrome extension) to foster engagement

Stan Faryna (@Faryna):

I’d like to see more creative license in the profile space. It’s like what Facebook does.

Oh – what Facebook does has nothing to do with good design.

Addendum

Ultimately, Google + didn’t up the quality of the social media experience – it didn’t revolutionize the social platform standard. They have the brain power and resources to do that. Why aren’t they doing it?

Mimi Baker (@MimiBakerMN):

I have yet to “talk” to anyone who uses Google + like they use Facebook or Twitter.

STAY IN THE LOOP!

Never miss a #DadChat again! Subscribe to Bruce Sallan’s weekly update on the homepage:

http://www.brucesallan.com/?arrows=true

Related Blog Posts

Forbes Book Review: What the Plus! by Jerry Weissman

Is #SocialMEDIA Your Social #LIFE by Bruce Sallan

Interview with Guy Kawasaki by John Jantsch

What The Plus! by Matthew May

What’s the Plus? Giving Google Plus a second fair chance by Taly Weiss

Related Books/Links

What the Plus! Google+ for the Rest of Us by Guy Kawasaki

Newsjacking by David Meerman Scott

Likeable Social Media by Dave Kerpen

The Thank You Economy by Gary Vaynerchuk

Poke the Box by Seth Godin

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Stan Faryna

An American living in Bucharest, Romania, Stan Faryna searches for better questions about who we are, what we’re doing, and how we shall better know ourselves and love others. He hopes for answers that fill the heart, lift it up, and substantiate the dignity of the human person.

Recently on his blog: Fix The Twitter Unfollow Bug Already!

Stan’s Unofficial Blog
Twitter: @Faryna
Faryna on Facebook


Spare the rod and spoil the child?! @BruceSallan #DadChat Recap

May 21, 2012

Spare the rod and spoil the child?

That ain’t in the Bible! But there’s several equivalents in the Old Testament – most of them in Proverbs. Here’s one example of such:

He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently). Proverbs 13:24

Note: This #DadChat RECAP appeared last week on Bruce Sallan’s blog.

Are parents spoiling their kids?

Are you? Am I?

That’s what Bruce Sallan (@BruceSallan on Twitter) is asking. He asks himself in last week’s weekly column, Entitled. Last Thursday, Bruce and co-hosts Charlie (@HowToBeADad) AND Andy (@betadad) asked the big questions at #Dadchat.

Do you spoil your kid(s)?

Why do you spoil your kid(s)?

How do you teach kid(s) otherwise?

Doris Day, You Are My Sunshine

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College, Parents, Money and Kids: #Dadchat RECAP

May 14, 2012

WHO KNEW that college could be so traumatic – to parents!

This #DadChat RECAP also appeared last week on Bruce Sallan’s blog.

How do parents pay for a kid (or more) to go to college when a four year degree costs as much as a house? As it is, one in three American families is financially challenged by rent or mortgage.

Will the kids get an education that provides life-long competitive advantages or just literacy and a long term debt load on student loans? The world is amidst great change – whole economies too.

What happens if your kid drops out? Or, yikes, what if your kid doesn’t want to go to college. It might work out for little Bobby or Sue, but can you live with that as a parent? Without an ulcer?

Bob Dylan, The times they are a changin

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Most Post: Featuring @StartYourNovel @BruceSallan @seanclark @virtuosoblogger @TedRubin et al.

May 3, 2012

This Week in Most Post: Fabienne Flessel, John Magnet Bell, Bruce Sallan, Sean Clark, Joe Pawlikowski, Ted Rubin, Gord Hotchkiss and Davina Brewer.

by Stan Faryna

Stan Faryna

……

A Week of the Blogosphere in Review: The Most Post.
Most… w-h-a-t?

Decide for yourself and let me know in the comments.

Jefferson Airplane, White Rabbit

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How to make friends and influence people in social media

April 24, 2012

How to make friends and influence people in social media

by Stan Faryna

Stan Faryna

If you follow Gini Dietrich, Bill Dorman or Bruce Sallan, you’ll understand everything that I have to say here. Because there’s no better lesson than the lesson you’ve seen lived out by the people you know. IRL or social.

Like IRL, social is something you have to live – automation, enthusiasm, and/or drama does not deliver consistent and sustainable results. Nor value.

It should go without saying. That there is no difference between IRL or social when it comes to making friends and becoming influential. It just is. Until we are replaced by robots. That’s why Klout, Kred, and Empire Avenue can’t help you.

Queen, We Are The Champions

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