How not to write: shifting POV No No (and possibly others)

May 25, 2011

One (or more) writing no no’s – inspired by Janice Hardy’s blog post, Stepping Out: A Look at POV Shifts:

Ack! John said to me, then he did a kung fu thing to me that muddled my mind. “My Kung Fu is better than your Kung Fu.” Then his lips mouthed the words with a 10 second delay. The trick was that his mouth didn’t move when I heard him speak.

I had assumed John had said it. So did he. But it could have been someone else entirely! John smiled. At last, I had understood! No, not really. Nor did he.