Judgment Day

Judgment Day

by Stan Faryna

Stan Faryna

Christian Hollingsworth

I’ve been trying to write a blog post to wrap up the year. It’s not coming easily to the keyboard. My mind is distracted by pain. I am surrounded by it in a manner of speaking. My stomach, my bowels, my back, my legs, etcetera. I have several challenges to overcome and my recovery from salmonella is slower than I like.

The one human being that stands out this year. The one man that stands above all others for me. The one young man this year for which I am most grateful of another’s service to me is Christian Hollingsworth. His Week of Faryna rocked my world, his very generous donation to Nisha’s water project rocked my heart, and his personal card of encouragement that I received by post -it lifted me up.

Not because the Week of Faryna is fresh on my list of people and things for which I am grateful!

The timing, however, is perfect. Because it was a difficult year set with many challenges and, yes, even traps and petty conspiracies. Nonetheless, it is good to end the year overwhelmed with gratitude.

But beyond the timing, Christian has lifted me up like no other. Like so many others have done this year and to them, I am also grateful with all my heart. But Christian carried me in his arms more than once.

Like an angel may carry us through a overwhelmingly difficult moment. Like Christ who carries our cross when we stumble under its weight.

Thank you, Christian. You shine bright, Christian Hollingsworth. The world is your oyster. You lift others up!

You lifted me up.

And lifting others up, I believe with all my heart, is living out a key in the most profound mission that defines why we are here and what we are supposed to be doing.

Christian Hollingsworth has a blog, Smart Boy Designs. He’s @smartboydesigns on Twitter. Christian’s got Facebook awesomeness too.

Judgment

Being appreciated for who we are and what we do is the greatest encouragement we can get from others. But it must be earned in a manner of speaking. And I have to mention that Bill Dorman, for example, is one who pays the dues and earns it. Like Bill Dorman does, each of us must endeavor to do things worthy of the admiration and appreciation of others. I speak a little about admiration and love in a previous pod cast slash blog post.

We must endeavor to do good, beautiful and true things. And yet, even when the endeavor is made, we will wonder if we have succeeded. Or failed.

Without others to provide their judgment (oh- how we all seem to hate to be judged) upon our efforts, we must question ourselves, our existence, and wrestle with considerable doubts. Or ignore those doubts under cover of self-deception and self-defeating lack of self-awareness.

It is an existential dilemma to be sure. All of us seek judgment but none of us look forward to the penalties and sentences that our own conscience knows to be deserved.

Let me be the first to confess that I am desperate for human judgment. I do not need glory, but I do need to know if my existence is meaningful to others. If I have served others in a way that lifts them up – if only for a moment. And, at least, profoundly – if only for a moment!

Having failed to serve others is one of the most profound failures each of us can ever know. Nor can such service be fulfilled by a single heroic act or several but with ongoing consistency across the days and months and all the years of our brief lives.

That said, I thank you, members of my jury, who have considered my case this year. I appreciate each of you – even those who never speak with me but regard me in their silence. Those that found me lacking and those that found me useful, helpful, and inspiring. Thank you from my heart.

Juggernauts

It seems a cliche, but the wisdom is so profound that I cannot repeat it enough:

No man is an island unto himself.

At times, we may think of those who inspire us as juggernauts. They crush the obstacles in their heroic path like juggernauts and they roll forward gloriously ever inspiring us and ever fueling our own ambitions, aspirations, and hope. But for most juggernauts, their momentum which seems to be as perfect as a celestial motion or divine countenance… their momentum is often fueled by the encouragement and love of others. Often, without that encouragement, the juggernaut would come to a stop and crumble like a powdery clay. Scattering in the wind. Melting under a gentle rain or melting snow.

I am not a juggernaut. Jack and Gini are juggernauts and I can say so even if they don’t like me or my blog. But I do have hopes and aspirations to do amazing things. But, most importantly, like a juggernaut, whatever good I have done and whatever good I do is fueled and sustained physically and emotionally by the encouragement, love, and friendship of others.

Thank you from my heart for your encouragement, love, and friendship.

Thanks be to God, divine servants of God’s Kingdom, and to so many wonderful people for helping me get through 2011. I list those whose contribution was greatest this year, but my gratitude goes out to many more. I can only hope that you do not take offense and injury if you do not find your name here.

This list does not include bloggers whose blogs I often read with much enthusiasm. In fact, I have featured them in several of my blog posts under the blog soup series.

If you are injured in fact, let us, you and me, renew and deepen our friendship in the coming year. I welcome you with open heart.

Online

Bonnie Squires, Elizabeth Cross, Jack King, Christian Hollingsworth, John Magnet Bell, Amber-Lee Dibble, Carolyn Nicander Mohr, Bill Dorman, Aaron Biebert, Eugene Farber, Yomar Lopez, Marcus Baker, Dino Dogan, Janet Callaway, Saul Fleischman, John Garrett, Tim Celan, Margorie ClaymanPhaedrah Ellison, Jayme Soulati, Kaarina Dillabough, Lumi, Marianne Worley, and (last but not least) Daniela Mitulescu.

I know, I know! A few of you may be surprised to find yourself named here!

Sometimes, our unintended contribution is more size-able than our intended contribution.

Offline

Mom, Nicoleta Mocanu, Mihai Coman, Daniel Fanache, Bogdan Coman, Adrian Klein, and (last but not least) Madalina Cristea.

Above all, I wish you very special people – much joy, love, kindness, and much, much more for 2012!

Others

Thanks also to the members of Triberr, The Castleville and Cityville Gazette, my Facebook friends and fans, my Twitter followers, and, yes, the Rockstars!

Irony

If you ask me what I believe was my most important blog post and podcast this year, I will say it was One Christian’s Letter to OWS Protestors. Sadly, it was the least listened to podcast that I published. And it was my least read blog post of the year! I can, however, appreciate the irony.

Irony helps us to keep humble, indeed.

But here is the podcast- just in case you want to hear what I’m making much ado about.

Play the soundcloud player to hear the podcast. Or download it here. The podcast sounds awesome with earphones or played on hi-fi speakers. Try it and tell me what you think.

Mobile users: you should be able to hear the podcast here.

Feedback

If you think that this blog post sucks, let me know in your comment and don’t forget to include a link to YOUR favorite blog post.

If you think this blog post rocks, tell me why it rocks in the comment. “Awesome,””Great post,” etc. works for me. Don’t forget to include a link to YOUR most recent blog post.

Stan Faryna
31 December 2011
Bucharest, Romania

P.S. 

I love you. Be well. Shine bright. Lift others up! Be amazing…

42 Responses to Judgment Day

  1. Hello Stan, phew! seems like you’ve had the plate thrown at you along with a full meal of life.
    Well, I’ve found your kind words to me to be uplifting, healing even. You encouraged me to write more and I expect that to happen more this year.
    All the best to you, and as I’ve heard they say in Afica when greeting friends: “I see you” as a way of acknowledging the other person.
    Billy

    • Stan Faryna says:

      I see you. And you shine, Billy.

      You know things. You feel things. You understand. Give it to the world. The world needs you. To shine fiercely, brightly.

  2. Betsy Cross says:

    One of your greatests gifts is your ability to shine the light on other people and to lift THEM. What a role model to the rest of us. Thanks for your friendship and inspiration.
    2012 will be better! And 2011 was pretty outstanding!! Hope you feel better soon.

  3. John Garrett says:

    Stan you are one of the most tirelessly kind and generous people I have met online (or offline). You and Christian are definitely two human beings of the very highest caliber.

    I truly wish you a happy new year and the best of all things in 2012, my friend!!

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Happy New Year, John!

      Never forget that you are the dude with the bestest, coolest, and most amazing about-page on the intertubes. What’s next?!

  4. Happy New Year dude!

    I hope 2012 will bring you closer to your family and friends, and that your wishes may become true.

    DannyB

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Dude!

      I am so glad you’re back in Bucharest! I look forward to spending hours and hours with you in the next year! Happy New Year, dude.

  5. What a beautiful tribute to those who have influenced you and had an impact on your life this past year. I couldn’t agree more that no man is an island–I think we’re all here to support and bring out the best in each other. I hope 2012 is a wonderful year for you–healthwise and otherwise!

    • Stan Faryna says:

      There are people that do amazing things and I endeavor to follow their example. You are such a light, Sandra. Your children’s books make a difference in this world, Sandra. Thank you. I appreciate you. I endeavor and aspire to have the kind of impact you have upon the world.

  6. Cecili Sin says:

    Not a juggernaut, hmm..I think you would be pleased not to stride forward without compassion. The amazing thing about you to me, from our small interaction, is your striving. You strive to reflect the sweetness of the human soul. Have a blessed and bright 2012.

  7. Stan Faryna says:

    Cecili, you rock! You are one of the finest human beings I’ve encountered in Facebook gaming. I look forward to many, many years of gaming with you. Happy New Year, Cecili!

  8. Thanks for the link love.

    This is a nice way to end the year and start fresh by thanking all other bloggers who have inspired you.

    Have a great year ahead.

  9. This post is very touching Stan. Thank you. I’m simply going to share what I shared last night. It fits.

    Although I stay positive as best I can, especially when writing, this year has come with a heavy load of difficulties. I have and still am being tested and tried with some of the most difficult physical, mental and emotional hurts I’ve yet to face in my life.

    Although we don’t know, or even need, the exact nature of one another’s burdens- I am overwhelmed that we have the freedom in sharing. I read this email you sent, and I’m filled with a gratitude for your friendship hard to describe. Tears fill my eyes as I realize and know everything will be okay. Not that a life may be fixed to perfection, but filled with a hope worth living.

    The other day I was thinking of life. My life in particular. I believe it to be a beautiful tapestry. Not because of its perfection, but due to the tears. The tears which have been made in gnashed and gnarled form. And then, the glimmer. The glimmer of golden thread that weaves it all back together again-producing a piece more intriguing and beautiful than had it been, simply, a perfect tapestry.

    In our lives, most often, that golden thread comes in the form of a friend.

    Thank you Stan, for helping sew my own tapestry.

  10. Stan, you honor me, and I like what Sandra said: “No man is an island – …we’re all here to support and bring out the best in each other.” I couldn’t agree more:)

    Please take good care of yourself in your health recovery. I have been most remiss in getting over here, so I’m sorry to say I was unaware of your health challenges. I am sending positive thoughts, healing energy and blessings your way for a full recovery…soon:)

    Your blog posts (yes, plural) rock because they make me think, they expand my horizons, they give me ah-ha moments. Even when I don’t comment, or if I’m absent for periods of time, it is never due to lack of interest or connection. Your comment, “I appreciate each of you – even those who [never…I shan’t say never, but sometimes periods of time do pass] speak with me but regard me in their silence” makes me feel less “guilt” about those times when I have not been in the loop. Wishing you a wonder-filled new year. Cheers! Kaarina

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Big hug to you Kaarina!

      No one is keeping a head count for each blog post. No one counts the comments. It’s all good. [warm smile]

  11. Stan, Sometimes I think that because you and Christian are so good at slaying demons, you are chosen to slay more than those who don’t conquer them nearly as well. We grow through adversity, so you must be about 10 feet tall.

    I wish I could lift some of the burdens off of your shoulders. Know that you are very much loved all over the world and that you have the support of your loyal friends.

    I hope 2012 brings you much health, happiness and prosperity. You deserve the best, my friend.

  12. Stan Faryna says:

    With encouragement like yours, Carolyn, I’m ready to take on that ten foot tall demon! [grin]

    You’re so awesome!

  13. Stan,

    My friend there are lots of ways to define juggernaut and to interpret a desire to do amazing things and I see you fitting into many of them.

    Your posts often make me think and as I told John Bell, I probably should comment more frequently than I do.

    Though I didn’t go to USC when you were there I was on campus a bunch of times while you were a student so I sometimes wonder if we ever passed each other.

    Did we run across each other when friends and I tried to figure out a way to steal Tommy Trojan. Did I see you downtown at The Pantry or some place on Vermont.

    Can’t say but sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I get this sense of something.

    All I know for certain is that I am grateful that Anubis brought us together. Triberr introduced me to many fine people and you are certainly among those I think of, as are John and Christian.

    I wish you a peaceful ending to 2011 and nothing but continued acts of amazement in 2012. Don’t sell yourself short, you are already making things happen.

  14. Stan.

    I woke up this morning (the second time) and came down the ladder-stairs with my little in my arms… there was my Dad, sitting at the table with a cup of coffee at his elbow (his only for an entire 24 hours!!) coloring a dragon, that he had begun the night before with my little Bella.

    I got my own cup (my first of many, many, many cups) of coffee after setting my little ray of light in the chair next to her Papa. I sat in my spot at the table, pulled my book of mandalas closer, opened it to the page I had yet to finish, looked up at Papa and said to him…

    “A family that colors together, stays together.”

    Stan, I have spoken, out on my own blog and to you as well as others about how I feel and have felt over and over again felt, during 2011 about this bright new world I find myself in, here.

    I am blessed.

    Over and over, I see blessings rain down on me, blessings that make me understand how many blessings I either- didn’t see, didn’t acknowledge or merely accepted as my due in my not-so-distant-past. I am ashamed.

    I have two scary-smart children that are healthy, safe and happy (well, one is a teenager, so mostly happy). I have a warm home that I am in no danger of loosing, with plenty of food. I have weapons, ammunition and the knowledge to hunt, kill and process food. My children and I have clothing and thousands (yes) of books.

    I am blessed.

    I have people I have never met, from all over the great world we live in, that I consider friends, that I have never reached out and touched. Hugged. Looked into their eyes and said, “Thank you” to.

    I have learned so much in 2011, I am amazed and humbled. I would have never imagined absorbing and learning so much… ever, let alone in less than a whole year. (…makes me wonder what else I missed while I was wasting time!)

    Even with all the terrible troubles I have been having with computers, band-width, power and connection and my creepy stalker (he’s back)… I still feel “connected,” not alone.

    I am blessed.

    I, too, am still burdened with health and pain issues (as well as the evil monster that lurks, and waits) and I will pray for relief for you to be lifted out of that mire.

    I, too, have been hurt and betrayed in 2011. Many, many tears fell, the hollow-pit feeling in the stomach and chest took up residence a few times… and yet, the hurts may never go away, some things leave scars as we all know, and yet the overwhelming feeling of light and right washes the worst away… again and again.

    I am blessed. And so are you. You, Stan, are one I count as a blessing in my life. For only being who I know to be you, for being in my life now, I am blessed.

    Your Friend.

    • Stan Faryna says:

      This is my third attempt to reply, Amber-lee. I keep losing the connection with my blog. So I know how it goes. Arf!

      You are not alone. Nor am I. Nor are we. With all it’s sham, disconnects, and hiccups, the internet is still a wonderful thing. It’s wonderful because of us. And, not least of which, because of you, Amber-Lee.

      I count you as a blessing as I am sure that many others do too.

  15. For what it’s worth, Stan, you may not think yourself a juggernaut *now* but I’d certainly describe you as a juggernaut in the making. Maybe getting there is more fun than actually being one.

    I’m going to repeat myself here, but Descartes came up with “I think, therefore I am,” one of the few sayings our culture has managed to preserve — that’s no mean feat — and he didn’t think too highly of himself.

    I hereby award you the Future Juggernaut Medal. Happy New Year.

  16. What a lovely way to begin a brand new year – with these words. A tribute to kindness and compassion. An ode to friendship and humanity. Powerful words from a beautiful person.
    I am so happy to know you Stan.

    • Stan Faryna says:

      You rock, Phaedrah. And I have a game idea that I’m working on that you might like. At least, I hope that you’ll like it!

      P.S. I tended your workshop in Castleville today. [grin]

  17. Oh Stan, the credit you give me is certainly appreciated, but not sure if it is deserved. I just try to do the best I can and see where I end up afterwards.

    Yes, your existence is important and your ability to go deep but speak from the heart is admirable. The naked truth might offend some, but we always know where you stand.

    I do appreciate your friendship and your creative work and look forward to hanging around with you this new year.

    Thanks so much for your continued and consistent support.

    Happy New Year to you.

  18. Stan, you are an angel, you know that? You talk with so much love about the people that lifted you up … but you don’t say a word about the people YOU lifted up! You lifted me up, and you have no idea how much. THANK YOU! Thank you for being such an amazing friend. 🙂

    I’m glad you are feeling better. You should really stop eating food that you did not cook, or that doesn’t come for a place with thousands of customers a day.

    I’m going to come visit you this week. Just drop me a line when I can come by.

    And also, thanks for thinking about me, you give me too much credit. 😀 ^_^ Hugs!

    Mean PS: When do you plan on continuing Book of Carrot? *batting eyelashes* I’m curious what happens next.

    • Stan Faryna says:

      What would I do without you, Maddy!

      Book of Carrot?! The courage for the rewrite is still mounting…

      But I have some other ideas. Wonderful ideas…

      • What would you do without me? Just fine, look at all the amazing people around you!

        New ideas? GREAAAT! 😀 I really loved “What’s in a name?” and I can’t wait to hear all about your wonderful ideas.

        So, what do you say, are we starting this year at full power? ‘Cuz I have a feeling 2012 is going to be supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I feel so pumped about doing things. I’m even in the mood to get a new boyfriend. :laughing:

        Come on Staaaann! Let’s do stuff. Amazing stuff!

        HUGE HUG!
        Maddy

  19. Stan, I just got a chance to read this. Christian is a great guy, and I can see why he wanted to feature you during the Week of Faryna.

    I really hope 2012 is the year the world discovers you and you can get to where you’re going. I’m pulling for you with all my heart.

    Keep at it. You are special.

  20. These year-end reflections are so deep, sincere and filled with love to those you share with, honor, become virtual friends with, and more.

    Stan, you’re a deep and old soul.

    Your strength will persevere, and your writing is your therapy. Keep on, and thank you for adding my name to your list of inductees into the Faryna Hall of Fame.

    I have only begun to get to know you. Peace and health in 2012, my Friend.

  21. A very blessed 2012 to you St. Stan of the Littlest Animals.

    • Stan Faryna says:

      No little animals to sing my praises. And one fluffy chow chow has complaints. But the trees, there are trees that may, in fact, remember my kindness.

      Happy New Year to you old and dear friend!

  22. […] Judgement Day (this post really touched me recently) […]

  23. I give Stan Faryna and Christian Hollingsworth TWO hairy and crooked thumbs up.

Speak from your heart!

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