How you and I are going to change the world

June 27, 2012

A tutorial on how to give great comments

and feedback 

that send out big, world-changing waves

by Stan Faryna

New Featured Item: The Galactic Herald Iso-8 Jewel (Fan-made)

Marvel Avengers Alliance: Galactic Herald Iso-8 Jewel

How to save the world

This is a demonstration of how social media has changed how business is done.

It may also be a demonstration of how people can make change in the world through online community and action. The latter depends entirely on you and, yes, everyone else within the online reach and attention of these words. If you want to change the world for the better, you have to collaborate with others to make it happen.

You have to take personal responsibility and ownership of the desired change. You can’t just sit it out and hope for the best. And if you don’t have a pressing cause that you are personally motivated to see happen today, you can help someone else who has a cause that needs your support.

Michael Jackson, They Don’t Really Care About Us

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Once upon a time in social media (part two)

June 26, 2012

Once upon a time in social media part two

by Stan Faryna

If you haven’t read part one, please click: Once upon a time in social media.

“NO-NO-NO!” shouted the white rabbit at the boy and girl.

The boy and girl were naturally surprised. The white rabbit could actually talk. English!

“That’s not how Marco Pollo is played!” exclaimed the white rabbit as he sat up. He was a big fellow.

He lit a corn cob pipe and sucked on the crackling clove smoke. Then he looked at the girl, suspiciously.

“You wouldn’t happen to be an Alice, would you?” he asked the girl.

Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers, Don’t Come Around Here No More

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Once upon a time in social media. And other social Media DOHs!

June 25, 2012

Once upon a time in social media part one

by Stan Faryna

Once upon a time, a boy and girl went into an wardrobe and found themselves in a fairy tale. They emerged from a burrow of moss and jasmine and found themselves looking out upon a grassy overlook. Nearby, a black unicorn pranced to the delight of half-foot-tall, laughing faeries. The little people worked as they laughed; they wove a garland of fragrant, pink peonies for the unicorn’s reward.

A faun too frolicked in his labor. Oh how the faun leapt! As high as three meters at times. At times, he gathered red pomegranate fruits. On other leaps, bunches of juicy, green grapes – each grape as big as a plum. Of course, the gentle faun shared gladly and freely with anyone who desired the fruit of his labors.

A Blue-fronted Amazon parrot flew up from a pomegranate branch shaken by the faun and complained bitterly at the rude awakening. The faun had disturbed the parrot’s nap!

Without delay, the faun apologized profusely. Reluctantly, the green breasted parrot accepted his apology. And all was well in paradise.

Cold Play, Paradise

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Just another Marvel Avengers blog post for the next 100,000+ views

June 15, 2012

Just another blog post for that next 100,000+ views and link to the Marvel Avengers cheat-trick-hack that destroyed the game for everyone

You is here: A Marvel Avengers Guide for Levels 54-65
For Levels 41-53, getting that job done
For Levels 31-40, gird thee up thy loins
For Levels 11-30, smite thine enemies
For Levels 0-10, ride thunder express

by Stan Faryna

Get the Balance Right

Any Facebook game that is worth playing is more than mouse clicks. It has to be about solving problems. It has to be about doing good, helping others, and, of course, saving the world. Right?

The story line of the Marvel Avengers Alliance Facebook Game has all this good stuff.

A good game is also a game that gets the balance right. Just as a good player gets the balance right. Agent levels 54 to 65 is all about getting the balance right. It’s when you need to forget about the Marvel Avengers cheats, buying your way through the game with gold, or gaming the game platform with leethax. If you don’t put this behind you at this point, the game will be as empty as your heart and soul may be.

And that would be a pity.

Depeche Mode, Get the Balance Right

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100,000+ views of a blog post doesn’t rock me. And other social media DOHs!

June 14, 2012

Is there something wrong with social media or is it me? [gasp]

by Stan Faryna

Stan Faryna

What’s wrong with me?

100,000+ views of a blog post doesn’t rock me. This concerns me. What’s wrong with social media? What’s wrong with me!?

So what if I can throw up blog posts that rock 100,000+ views without blinking...

Depeche Mode, Everything Counts

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Recap: @TedRubin @annegeddestweet and more on giving at @BruceSallan’s #dadchat

June 12, 2012

How do you nourish a spirit of giving in your kids?

If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain; If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin Up to his nest again, I shall not live in vain.

– Emily Dickinson

Make yourself necessary to somebody.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Everybody can be great. Because anybody can serve.

– Martin Luther King, Jr.

When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her.

It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed.

– Mother Teresa

How do we teach our kids to give?!

This was the big question on @BruceSallan’s DadChat with Ted Rubin (@TedRubin), Anne Geddes (@annegeddestweet) and all of the DadChat women, friends and fans.

This special DadChat was dedicated to helping raise funds for shot@life (@ShotAtLife), a movement to protect children worldwide by providing life-saving vaccines where they are most needed. Over $1,400 was raised for Shot@Life in the online DadChat auctions and even more was made in direct donations – all in ONE HOUR!

Note: This #DadChat RECAP appeared last week on Bruce Sallan’s blog.

Ted Rubin

Ted Rubin is a daddy, social marketing strategist, and CMO that emphasizes ROR, Return on Relationship. Bruce says that he is the most followed CMO on Twitter! Ted’s website is here.

Anne Geddes

Anne Geddes is a world-class photographer known for her award-winning photographs of babies, flowers, and pregnant moms. Her photos are icons that celebrate birth, life, and joy.  Her website is here.


Shot@Life educates, connects and empowers Americans to champion vaccines as one of the most cost-effective ways to save children’s lives in developing countries. Give here.

The Auction

1. Hotel and airfare for two to Los Vegas

Donated by Holly Pavlika (@HollyPavlika)

Winning bid by @TedRubin.

2. 2GB iPod Shuffle #2

Winning bid by @LovelyLu

3. 2GB iPod Shuffle #1 and an autographed, limited-edition book by Anne Geddes

Winning bid by @JPLoveCotton

4. Autographed, limited edition book by Anne Geddes

Winning bid by @Bruce Sallan

The transcript for this #dadchat is here:

Join the fun! Log-in to #dadchat every Thursday night at 6pm PST:

Snips and Bites From the Dadchat

The tweets listed below only represent a fraction of the chat and participants. See the transcript for the complete record of this epic chat.

John Lennon, Imagine

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Coulson’s Folly: Marvel Avengers Alliance Levels 41-53. Silver and Gold Links.

June 5, 2012

Talk (all you want) after you got the job done.

You are here: Marvel Avengers Allaince Guide for Levels 41 to 53.
For Levels 54-65, can you rock & rolla?
For Levels 31-40, gird thee up thy loins
For Levels 11-30, smite thine enemies
For Levels 0-10, ride thunder express

by Stan Faryna

Just Fight

Agent Coulson’s folly was to to talk first. He should have shot Loki and then took the kiddos out for a beer. But then that wouldn’t have been much of movie (Marvel Avengers).
You’re not making a movie here, so get the job done. In other words, level up Captain America, Thor, and Iron Man to 11 by Agent Level 50. In addition, if you can get Spiderman and Hulk to Level 9 by 53, you rock. Everything else is a distraction. Forget the research until you hit Agent Level 65. Send out those Remote Ops. Make Silver. Make silver like there’s no tomorrow. You’ll need it to train your heroes up.
Just fight. PVP. PVE.
Iron Maiden, The Trooper
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When Deepak Chopra says “Do Not Panic”, you should be concerned.

June 4, 2012

We live in interesting times

by Stan Faryna

Stan Faryna

If you happen to be shit out of luck, it’s “cyclic.” That’s what the spiritual teacher to celebrities and the big corporate C-suite, Deepak Chopra, is saying.

I am reminded of an ancient warning. Beware of false prophets and teachers.

I’m also reminded of an award-winning and NYT Best Selling novel by Aravind Adiga, an Indian. The White Tiger. Balram Halwai, the protagonist of Adiga’s novel, was never a good man and he will never be a good man. He will only ever say what he needs to say to further himself.

Fleetwood Mac, Tell Me Lies

…… Read the rest of this entry »

Recap: Do you communicate or spam? @BruceSallan @SmartBoyDesigns @chattyprof #DadChat

June 4, 2012

Are you on the same page? With whom?

That’s what effective communication is all about, right? 

The only way to solve our problems is to work together with others (family, friends, colleagues, and, sometimes, strangers). Little problems or big. That’s how it is. We have to build consensus about the facts and the goals. We have to make decisions about the best use of commonly accepted facts and resources. In other words, the bottom line is effective communication. Without it, we ain’t getting anywhere.

Not you. Not me. No one.

Note: This #DadChat RECAP appeared last week on Bruce Sallan’s blog.

Simon & Garfunkel, Bridge Over Troubled Water

That’s what people were talking about in Bruce Sallan’s DadChat with Professor Ellen Bremen (@chattyprof) and Christian Hollingsworth (@SmartBoyDesigns). Here’s the three big questions that the awesome people of DadChat considered:

What is effective communication?

How do we get on the same page?

What gets in the way of us hearing what each other has to say?

The transcript of this #dadchat is here:

Join the fun! Log-in to #dadchat every Thursday night at 6pm PST:

Snips and Bites from the #DadChat

The tweets listed below only represent a fraction of the chat and participants. See the transcript for the complete record of this mind-blowing chat.

What is effective communication?

Stan Faryna (@Faryna):

What is effective communication?

Ellen Bremen (@chattyprof):

When both sender and receiver “get it” 🙂

Angie Mozilo (@azmomofmanyhats):

Communication makes existing living.

Brad Marmo (@readbradthedad):

I was a Communications major in college, does that count?

Kenna Griffin (@profkrg):

I teach in a Mass Comm program!

Allana Prat (@allanapratt)

I think we teach what we’re meant to learn! I love intimacy- with my beloved, myself, my son, w/nature,a daily practice.

Chris (@CanadianDadBlog):

Bah! Work emergency, I have to bail tonight, sorry! I hope to catch up on the transcript later. Thanks! Have fun!

Bruce Sallan (@BruceSallan):

Anyone read the Five Languages of Love? THAT helped define things for my wife and me!

Stan Faryna (@Faryna):

Karen Horney’s The Feminine Psychology was my wake up call. That was 20+ years ago.

Greg Laycock (@GregLaycock)

It’s super hard for a single dad, but what I’ve learned is that you need to have 1-on-1 chatting time with each child, and often.

Brad Marmo (@readbradthedad):

I give single parents mad props. Can’t even imagine.

Aaron Kilby (@kilby76)

Me, me me… LOL RT @BruceSallan So, who thinks they communicate better with their kids or their spouse?

Sonya (@Sonya_LeanOnUs)

If it’s personal stuff my son always comes to me.

Christian Hollingsworth (@SmartBoyDesigns):

Rather ironic. Logged in tonight to chat about effective communication. Twitter not being so effective. All I can do is let it be.

Jack (@MunkayJacked):

I believe the best way for communication to work is when you have a thirst for knowledge. Soak up information like a sponge.

How do we get on the same page?

Christian Hollingsworth (@SmartBoyDesigns):

If you make listening and observation your occupation you will gain much more than you can by talk. – Robert Baden-Powell

Angie Mozilo (@azmomofmanyhats):

Listening is the first step in effective communication!

Bridget Heckman (@theluxcrystal)

I think when your child talks to you, listen-really listen and make eye contact.#theymatter 

Stan Faryna (@Faryna):

Great Book on Listening by Mortimer Adler > How to Speak. How to Listen 

Russell Bonchu (@squirleywrath):

I just took a boy scout training called #woodbadge, which deals a lot with active & empathetic listening, among other things

Christian Hollingsworth (@SmartBoyDesigns):

If it wasn’t for my Mom, I would be nothing. Her communication skills are superb.

Bento Leal (@empathy4life):

Empathic listening helps with my 3 adult children and 2 sons in law

Allana Prat (@allanapratt):

@faryna I like to stop talking to myself and in the silence see what arises, or just be OK not knowing and being…

Bruce Sallan (@BruceSallan):

HOW do you turn off talking to yourself?

Ellen Bremen (@chattyprof):

I teach my students about paraphrasing: Repeating what the other person says in your own words

@smartboydesigns posted about a form of listening today: Asking questions 🙂

Carolyn Nicander Mohr (@wonderoftech):

Listening tip: paraphrase what the person is saying to make sure you’re understanding the message.

Jack (@MunkayJacked):

Another tip. Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you don’t understand.

Christian Hollingsworth (@SmartBoyDesigns):

I need to hear these [listening tips]. I’m not always the best at listening.

Dr. Santhan Reddy (@drsanthan):

Paraphrasing helps to understand the facts. Try and validate the feeling too. You may be feeling _____.

Allana Prat (@allanapratt):

My son loves that I don’t multitask- I focus right on him or say hang on while I finish up- never pretend to listen

What gets in the way of us hearing what each other has to say?

Bruce Sallan (@BruceSallan):

Hmmm, the question is not OUR listening to our kids but THEY listening to US!? Don’t you think?

Allana Prat (@allanapratt):

What speaks louder than words?

Jack (@MunkayJacked):


Mimi Baker (@MimiBakerMN):

Absolutely true! RT @MunkayJacked: Actions @allanapratt: What speaks louder than words?

Ellen Bremen (@chattyprof):

So true… we pay attention to the nonverbals about 95% over the verbals.

Russell Bonchu (@squirleywrath):


Christian Hollingsworth (@SmartBoyDesigns):

I know I ALWAYS learn more from example than words.

Ellen Bremen (@chattyprof):

I remember Oprah saying about Maya Angelou that our kids respond to our reaction when they walk in a room

Dr. Santhan Reddy (@drsanthan):

True. When my 1 year old falls, she searches for my reaction, before she decides to cry

Allana Prat (@allanapratt):

I have trouble listening to when to slow down, trust, let go.

Jack (@MunkayJacked):

S/times we can’t listen cause we don’t understand what is said or hear what is being communicated. We hear facts but miss meaning

Cupcake Cuties (@CupcakeCutieKit):

Yes me too!!! @allanapratt: @brucesallan I have trouble listening to when to slow down, trust, let go.

Jack (@MunkayJacked):

Ha ha, it’s the selective hearing we all have! @CrossBetsy: My son had to move out before he admitted he heard evrything I said

Stan Faryna (@Faryna):

You’re shining @MunkayJacked! Shining bright.

Bruce Sallan (@BruceSallan):

We each have diff languages of love and learning to “speak” the others is the challenge!

Vincent Daly (@CuteMonsterDad):

A lot of the lack of communication between spouses is rooted in insecurity or fear. Easier to blame than to be vulnerable.

Allana Prat (@allanapratt):

I have a HARD time “receiving” judgment!

Randy Thio (@ideabloke):

Isn’t it funny how the act of trying to avoid an argument only fuels it further?!

Related Blog Posts

How to Communicate That You’ve Changed Your Mind by Ellen Bremen

A Dad’s Letter to His 18-Year-Old Son (Better Men Blog)

How much time do you spend commenting on blogs? by Christian Hollingsworth

Changing Your Grip by Scott Hanley

Ten Elementary Differences Between Men and Women, Part One by Bruce Sallan

The First Duty of Love is to Listen by Stan Faryna

You Are My Sunshine by Carolyn Nicander Mohr

Related Books

How to Speak. How to Listen by Mortimer Adler

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Faber and Mazlish

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That lasts by Gary Chapman

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray

Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin


Stan Faryna

An American living in Bucharest, Romania, Stan Faryna searches for better questions about who we are, what we’re doing, and how we shall better know ourselves and love others. He hopes for answers that fill the heart, lift it up, and substantiate the dignity of the human person.

Stan’s Unofficial Blog
Twitter: @Faryna
Faryna on Facebook

RIP Bassel Shehade #Syria Please RT

June 1, 2012

There are worse things than death and dying

by Stan Faryna

Stan Faryna

To my Syrian friends:

There are worse things than death and dying. Among them is the shame that you have forsaken your dignity and allowed beasts to become your masters.

There is the shame that you did not fight the good fight. Instead, you cowered in safe places while good men and women died in the arena. There is an inescapable and boundless shame in your self-deceit that your place was not by their side but instead in seeking your fortune, pleasure or safety.

Bassel Shehade did not die in shame.

An aspiring film-maker with a Fullbright Scholarship at Syracuse University, Bassel was killed in Homs, Syria on the 28th of May 2012 by the Syrian army.

In memory of Bassel Shehade

Stan Faryna
02 June 2012
Bucharest, Romania