0-2 Preface, Yellow Brick Road, Adventures in Yuwie-land
Note: special thanks to Stuart Godwin for inspiring me to try writing in a different style.
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Don’t play it. Really. Don’t do it. Because it’s god-awful: Eminem, Yellow Brick Road
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Don’t know what Yuwie is about, then read my initial thoughts about Yuwie here.
NOT Yuwie again!
‘Fraid so.
An hour ago, I got a message in Yuwie from an old friend. My G-mail inbox is flooded with Yuwie messages- 24-7.
Note to self: make new a new email account for spam and registrations. Soon.
“So, now what? How do I make money?”
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Below, a little quickie to set the mood: Follow The Yellow Brick Road
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I calmly replied in my typical know-it-all cool:
“Don’t expect to make money anytime soon – if ever. If you’re lucky and you work really, really hard and you work really, really smart on this, maybe you’ll just have your heart broken.
Maybe. But I doubt it. It will prolly be worse.
This is nothing like going down the rabbit hole! This is more like following the yellow brick road. And we all know what Dorothy finds behind the curtain.”
Below, background music for your heightened reading pleasure: Goldfrapp, Happiness.
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Then, I started to get nervous, I lit another cigarette – unaware that a lit cigarette was burning in the ashtray. And I wrote more:
“You’re going to regret all the time you put into Yuwie – especially if you try this all by yourself. It’s a bigger time sink than World of Warcraft… or, perhaps, even Travian. [gasp!]
You’re going to blame me later for encouraging you in this madness.
Or you’re going to blame me right now for discouraging you and, ultimately, holding you back from discovering your true potential in network marketing. That sucks for me. Either way.
Honestly, I don’t know if you can make money on Yuwie – I haven’t seen more than a few proof of payments that go as much as a hundred bucks for a month. Worse, my gambler’s sense gives me a feeling of a happy fool’s paradise.”
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And my post script:
“Your chances to make the kind of earnings that you’d actually appreciate are a lot higher if you were to become a compulsive blogger and promote your blogs like mad through Buzzfuse’s premium services.
“At least hold off a bit on Yuwie until I can work out some s.m.a.r.t. goals, pull some people together, and we can set out on this misadventure in the right frame of mind.
Can you hold off a week? Please.”
I pushed send.
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Then, I started to imagine her writing her reply…
“What will I be doing, six to twelve months from now?! And why can’t I use Yuwie as a platform for blogging and Buzzfuse promotion?
What will I burn time on doing- if not Yuwie? Will it be yet another thing that I can’t build upon and neither grow, nurture, see flower and bud, nor pluck fruit from?
That’s what the Internet is about, isn’t it? Keeping busy? Building and growing value of our user-centric online activities?
So why shouldn’t I start growing something on Yuwie now- even if it takes 12 months or more? It’s time to plow the furroughs and seed them. It’s spring, didn’t you know!
Besides, if Yuwie takes off, I want to be one of those early adopters that rake it in when Yuwie topples MySpace and Facebook! I want to be part of something significant, exciting, and glamorous. I want to ride a trend on the uptake.
Maybe, this is all old goose for you Mister Internet Rock Star since 1996. But what about ME?!
So now what? Why aren’t you getting behind me on this! How shall I lay the first stone of my new empire?
Anyway, can’t we just be foolish… together!?” [nudge, nudge]
Bottomline: No Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Magic Soap for you come Christmas – if you don’t figure this out fast. [OMFG!]
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This was what I imagined might be her reply.
And I was about to write a reply to her when I suddenly realized that I had merely imagined her reply to my reply.
Everything was going to be OK. Or not.
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Instead, her reply would come like a flurry and rain of slaps far worse, more furious, and terribly unforgiving – much more than I imagined myself deserving of…
I paused, lit a cigarette, and took a deep, long drag.
“This is going to be a long night,” I thought to myself.
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Hopefully, she watched the explanatory videos at the beginning and end of the overly ad-crowded sign-up process.
I checked my Gmail inbox.
Yuwie had sent me a message: check my Yuwie inbox.
I had many new messages waiting for me in Yuwie.
Hopefully, again, and for her sanity and mine, she skipped all the MLM and other ads in the sign-up process.
I checked my Yuwie inbox.
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Yup.
There was a message from her.
Learn about Yuwie here. OR read my initial thoughts about Yuwie here.
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Below, background music to surf the web by: Mika v. Pull Tiger Tail, Grace Kelly.
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In case you missed it, the blog post that started us down the yellow brick road is here.
Stan Faryna
April 18, 2008
Bucharest, Romania
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FEED UPON posts about moby, the electronic pop star, and me:
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>> Open Source – Did it deliver on the 90’s promise?
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About Stan Faryna
Mr. Faryna is the founder and co-founder of several technology, design and communication companies in the United States and Europe including Faryna & Associates, Inc., Halo Interactive, and others.
Stan Faryna is also a Global Voices author and translator. Global Voices is a non-profit global citizens’ media project founded at Harvard Law School’s Berkman Center for Internet and Society, a research think-tank focused on the Internet’s impact on society.
His political, scholarly, social and technical opinions have appeared in The Chicago Defender, Jurnalul National, The Washington Times, Sagar, Saptamana Financiara, Social Justice Review, and other publications.
Mr. Faryna also served as editor-in-chief of Black and Right (Praeger Press, 1996), a landmark collection of socio-political essays by important American thinkers including U.S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.
Copyright
Copyright 1996 to 2008 by Stan Faryna.
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Goldfrapp has some nice music. Great video! Thanks.