How to make friends and influence people in social media

How to make friends and influence people in social media

by Stan Faryna

Stan Faryna

If you follow Gini Dietrich, Bill Dorman or Bruce Sallan, you’ll understand everything that I have to say here. Because there’s no better lesson than the lesson you’ve seen lived out by the people you know. IRL or social.

Like IRL, social is something you have to live – automation, enthusiasm, and/or drama does not deliver consistent and sustainable results. Nor value.

It should go without saying. That there is no difference between IRL or social when it comes to making friends and becoming influential. It just is. Until we are replaced by robots. That’s why Klout, Kred, and Empire Avenue can’t help you.

Queen, We Are The Champions

Every now and then, I write about how to do social media. Jack, the man in the arena, says it’s good for the traffic and Jack Steiner knows what he’s talking about. He’s the best daddy blogger in the world. If you like, you can see for yourself – whether or not I know what I’m talking about. Here’s just a few of my thoughts:

Job number one is making @bdorman264 look good.

Why should your message be heard and shared?

How Social Media Is Changing the World For The Better

How to stalk people on Twitter – the right way.

Steal this recipe for a better world. And other social media DOHs.

Is the steak done, Bill? I like my meat medium rare. I like the A-1 steak sauce too. It’s tangy.

So what do Gini, Bill, and Bruce do right? Ten things are obvious to me:

1. They connect with people and beyond their enclaves, industry, and obvious synergies

2. They connect their community to bigger and better ideas

3. They treat their audiences, fans, and those outside their immediate circle as peers – they listen, learn, and receive disagreement/new ideas graciously

4. They use technology and tools to advance their reach – not substitute for their voice

5. They’re having fun on social – but that doesn’t mean they don’t work hard at it

6. They curate interesting people – not just interesting content

7. They show up – often enough and where attention is needed

8. They come as they are and, yes, their clay feet will shuffle out from under the robe on occasion – that doesn’t mean they bare all or play host to a parade of pity parties

9. They reciprocate – as much as is humanly possible.

10. They work hard at social – overtime would be an understatement

Do you know people on social that do all the right things? Not some of them – but all of the right things?

Celebrate them here in the comments. Tell us their Twitter names, give us a link to their blog, and make it count.

Are there virtues that must be added to the list? Did I raise the bar too high?

Stan Faryna
23 April 2012
Bucharest, Romania


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18 Responses to How to make friends and influence people in social media

  1. You are on a roll lately Stan- very strong posts. Keep going. I am enjoying them.

    • Stan Faryna says:

      I can’t get your voice out of my head, Jack. I keep hearing you say, Just write! Thank you, Jack.

  2. Excellent!
    Learning how to learn is what I do here in this post. I see these people and I watch them. Good they are indeed. Better we are that you share them. Best it is to listen to you and act upon this now…

    • Stan Faryna says:

      I want you to write another book – after the business book. A biography or fiction. I want to spend days in wonder of your words, my friend.

  3. #1 is key: “they connect with people beyond their enclaves.”

    It takes courage and an open mind to do that.

  4. First of all, thank you! You are a big reason it’s easy to do all of the things you list.

    I think #2 is really important…as is opening your mind and allowing professional discourse. It’s hard to receive criticism, but we invite it on Spin Sucks because it opens us up to other ideas, which is good for our brains.

    • Stan Faryna says:

      I agree, Gini. We can’t grow on the inside without a certain amount of dramatic tension, paradox, and disambiguation.

  5. billdorman says:

    Dude, you are way too kind; I definitely owe you a beer. Plus, you have put me in some pretty high cotton too (we say that down south even though it’s orange trees around here, not cotton….:).

    I know some ‘stuff’ and I know some people, but I know ‘me’ best of all. Being ‘me’ is pretty easy to do.

    I learn from everybody I connect with. I don’t care if you are the ‘A’ lister or the ‘I hear crickets’ post. If you see me hanging around some place then obviously I thought there was some value and I appreciate what they have to offer. If where I’m hanging out feels like I’m bringing value, then that’s a good day.

    Yes, I am having fun because social I can do and can do it by just showing up; how cool is that?

    At the end of the day I would much rather give you the credit for you being your awesome self than having the attention directed at me. I don’t shy away from attention, but it doesn’t sustain me. Helping my friends succeed is what I really get a kick out of…….but that’s just how I roll………..

    Thank you for dragging me around w/ you………:)

  6. Stan Faryna says:

    “… it doesn’t sustain me. Helping my friends succeed is what I really get a kick out of…”

    Grabbing for the crown of Epic, Bill? [laughing]

    Because you’ve just defined the heart beat of Epic.

  7. I know Jack – and he’s NOTHING like his writing! He’s actually even better IRL! lol…fooled ya, huh Stan! Thanks for including me on this list. I’m flattered and honored! FOR REAL!

    Yipes, there are so many people I know that fit these points so very well. First one that pops in my head is @AngelaMaiers – creator of the #YouMatter idea – and someone I call, “Teach.” @PegFitzpatrick is a mom and the co-director/leader of a great web-site I’m writing my 25th column for them – ALL FOR FREE – which I’d only do ’cause she and 12Most are so darn terrific!

    @MackCollier who is credited with starting the Tweet Chat phenom with his own #blogchat is a genuine good guy, smart, caring, and just plain terrific.

    @CarrieWilkerson was my recent guest on #DadChat and her story is so inspirational…look her up, learn, and follow her!

    The list is endless, but I got work to do Stan…stop distracting me with good blogs!

  8. Hi Stan, I agree with you. I often look to these stars of social and think how they would do it. I completely agree with you about number 4. Often people will want tech tools to do all the work for them on social. Tech tools can help you time your posts, but they shouldn’t be writing the posts for you.

    Thanks for recognizing these great folks. I would add Janet Callaway and Adrienne Smith to the list. They really care about others, are genuine and do a great job with connecting with others using social media.

    (May I add that you’re no social media slouch, Stan!)

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Big hug to you Carolyn! Janet and Adrienne are amazing indeed. But me – shucks – I’m still need some cleaning up.

  9. Who IS this guy?!?!!? (re: Stan Faryna) 😉

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